Obeying with All My Heart

 

Jesus replied, “If anyone loves me, he will obey my word, and my Father will love him, and we will come to him and take up residence with him. The person who does not love me does not obey my words. And the word you hear is not mine, but the Father’s who sent me.  John 14:23-24

 Sometimes it is difficult for my mind to process great big concepts. Let’s be honest, sometimes it’s difficult to process little ones! I think that in times like these, God often helps me by giving me something more concrete to understand. Today’s verses were difficult for me to grasp, and so God showed me something a little closer to home. Our relationship with God is mirrored in marriage. As Christ loves the church, so a husband is to love his wife (Ephesians 5:25).

 In Mark 10:7-9, Jesus talks about the mysteries of the intimacy of marriage. He says that the man will leave his father and mother, all that he has known during his life, and be joined into a new union, one where he literally becomes one flesh with his wife. I used to think this was just a vague reference to sex, but the longer I am married to my husband and the deeper and closer our relationship grows, the more I am inclined to think this has a much greater meaning. After having been together for more than 30 years, I know my husband in a very personal way. I can tell how he’s feeling by the way he breathes. Small things about him, his scent, the softness of his hair, the warmth of his embrace, fill me with love and adoration for this man. I’ll be honest, his foot is propped up on the table in front of me right now, and even the sight of his foot makes me love him more! That probably sounds silly to a young person who has yet to experience this depth of connection, but I hope it is familiar to many of my contemporaries. In the same way that I have come to love my husband over the course of our relationship. I have grown closer and closer to Christ as well. I have come to recognize His still, small voice in my heart, and it brings joy when I sense it. I see the beauty of His creation around me and it takes my breath away - drawing me to praise Him. I learn more and more of what He’s done for me and how wonderfully He loves me, and I am smitten. I am fully, deeply and forever in love with my Savior!

Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so [let] the wives [be] to their own husbands in every thing. [Ephesians 5:22-24 KJV]

 This passage may have caused more controversy in the church than any other. I’ve written before about how it was this concept that actually drew me into relationship with Jesus to begin with! You see, I, like others, originally saw this as a command to obey the every whim of my husband and make myself his servant. That was not very appealing to an independent, modern young woman! But the reality that it took me many years and much experience to learn is that this is actually a reflection of our verses for today. In the beginning of our marriage, when I was just learning to walk with Jesus and growing in my knowledge of His Word, I tried to “obey” my husband. He would ask me to do something, or not do something, and I would, begrudgingly, comply – sometimes. If I did it, I did it with irritation and argument in my heart. I thought I knew better. I disagreed with pretty much everything he said or did. It wasn't a fun way to live for either of us, I’ll tell you that! Today I’m glad to say that things are very different. As I wrote earlier, even when I don’t fully agree with or understand why he wants things done a certain way (like with the trash bag), I comply out of love for him and a deep-seated belief that doing as he asks will bring lasting benefit. My husband is a bit of a pessimist. He has baseline expectations that everything can and will go wrong. He is often cautiously pleased when it doesn’t, but that won’t change his default view of the world. As I wrote in December, I’m more of a glass is half full type of person. I literally see the world through rose-colored glasses! So in the past, ok I’ll be honest, in the present too, it often rubs me the wrong way when he cautions me against something I’m doing. “Do you really want to balance your laptop on the arm of that chair?” Upon reflection, he doesn’t even need to say the things half of the time anymore because I know what he is thinking, or what he would be thinking if he could see what I was doing. It causes a check in my spirit. Why do I rebel against the wisdom of my husband? Why does my nature want to fight against him? In my younger years this would cause an argument as I tried to “fix” his perspective and open his eyes to my wisdom. Over time I learned that those arguments weren’t particularly productive and I either gave the impression of submitting, when he was watching, or agreed in word but did not follow through in deed. Today when I bump up against that irritation, the argument inside of me, the thinking that I know better, I’m much more likely to pause. I consider both the wisdom being offered me and the heart with which it was given. I weigh the value of doing it my way and the consequences it would bring. Most of the time I land firmly in the camp of doing what my husband requests, or would have if he had been there. And I’m not doing it in deed only, but with a fully submitted heart. Even if I don’t understand or agree with his reasoning, I agree with him, with who he is, with his love for me and desire for my best. I show my love for him through obedience. My love for my husband causes me to want to obey him.

 As I said, this is how God taught me this morning about obedience to Him as well. In my youth I did not understand His Word, it felt harsh and restrictive. As I grew in Christ, I came to understand that His commands were probably for my best, but I didn’t enjoy them. Now that I’m old(er), I love His commands. I embrace them wholeheartedly. Even those that I don’t completely understand, I submit to with a belief that He’ll help me to “get it” in His perfect time and way. I follow what He tells me with joy, with excitement.

Image Credit: ChatGPT

 Proverbs 14:1 tells us, “The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.” I am sorry to report that in certain seasons of my life I have actively torn down our home. No, I didn’t bash in the walls with a sledgehammer (though I’ve been begging my husband to take down the kitchen wall for 20 years!), but I have threatened it’s structural integrity with my choices. Thankfully, God has been growing me in grace and the knowledge of His Word (2 Peter 3:18) and in recent years my actions have been more ones that build our house up. As a wife, I seek to build strong foundations for our marriage, rooting it in Christ. I purpose to pray for my husband and seek his best in all things. Our passage today says, “we will come to him and take up residence with him.” God makes His home in our heart. And He is truly wise, the author of wisdom in fact, so He builds His house perfectly! There is no tearing down/building up continuum with God, He just builds.

Here's the Thing: I had a hard time wrapping my head around today’s verses and how they applied to my life, but God stepped in and helped me out. He gave me concrete examples through my marriage of how my husband and I love each other and have made our home together. This helped me to see better how God loves me, how I am to love Him, and how He makes His home with me. I hope it helped you too!


Abiding in Jesus

  1. Week 1: Trusting the Gardener's Work
    1. John 15:1 - Seven Things Jesus Is
    2. John 15:2 - Pinch Those Suckers Out!
    3. Philippians 2:12-13 - Working Out My Salvation
    4. Matthew 5:16 - Stay Salty!
    5. 1 John 1:6 - Walking in Relationship
  2. Week 2: Bearing Lasting Fruit
    1. John 15:3-4 - It Takes Two to Abide
    2. John 15:5 - Grafted In
    3. John 15:6 - The Most Important Post You'll Ever Read
    4. Psalm 1:1-3 - What We Expect to See
    5. Galatians 5:22 - The Fruit of the Spirit's Not a Coconut!
  3. Week 3: Abiding in Jesus Through His Word
    1. John 15:7-8 - Lost in the Wilderness
    2. John 8:31-32 - The Truth Shall Set You Free
    3. Psalm 119:9-11 - Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth
    4. Psalm 119:15-16 - Considering His Ways
    5. 2 Timothy 3:16-17 - How is He Going to Use THAT?!?
  4. Week 4: Abiding in Jesus Through Obedience
    1. John 15:9-10 - Love, Honor and Obey
    2. James 1:22 - The Forgetful Listener
    3. 1 John 3:24 - How Can I Know if I Have the Holy Spirit in Me?
    4. Matthew 7:24-25
    5. John 14:23-24
  5. Week 5: Abiding in Jesus Through Love
    1. John 15:11-12
    2. John 15:13-14
    3. 1 John 4:10
    4. 1 John 4:11-12
    5. Romans 12:9-13
  6. Week 6: Chosen and Commissioned by Christ to Bear Fruit
    1. John 15:15
    2. John 15:16
    3. Ephesians 2:10
    4. Galatians 6:9
    5. John 15:17

Wrap-Up

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