Salty Zebra

   I started out in the introduction to this study mentioning how I’ve read Esther several times before, but I knew that God had something new to teach me this time, and wow, did that prove to be true!   To begin with, the very first day of this study we looked at where you place your treasure . I, ironically, wrote regarding our finances, “I am completely aware that any number of things could make it all disappear in the blink of an eye,” blissfully Unaware that my husband would be laid off just a few weeks later. But what I followed that with still holds true. My treasure is in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and thieves do not break in and steal, and this world has no power over it. I made a list in this post of things that people are often tempted to put their trust in: money, their spouse, doctors, or even their health. I feel like the enemy has used that as a checklist since then to come at me, but God is bigger than all of that and I trust Him no mat...

  “For Mordecai, the Jew was second in rank to King Ahasuerus, and he was great among the Jews and popular with the multitude of his brothers, for he sought the welfare of his people and spoke peace to all his people.”   Esther 10:3  God is in control. He is all-powerful. He is above-all and knows all. He is in control of everything. Nothing is too big or too hard for Him. We know these things, and then we see some of the awful evil in the world and we get confused. God does not sin, does not cause us to sin, and will not even tempt us to sin. So, if He is in control, why is there sin? The not-so-simple answer is that God knows what we will do, where we will fail, how we will sin, and rather than allowing that to destroy His plan, He uses it as a part of His plan, bringing everything together for good for those who love Him and are called according to His good purpose ( Romans 8:28 ).   A great example of this is the story of Joseph in Genesis chapters 37-50...

“All day long my tongue will also tell about your justice, for those who want to harm me will be embarrassed and ashamed.”  Psalm 71:24  The last couple of weeks have been rough. I knew that coming home from Disney World would be hard because I would need to recuperate, but I had no idea what else lay in store. The pain and exhaustion and uncertainty and emotional overwhelm has been intense! But you know what? In all of it I am still so very blessed ! I’ve learned in life that what you focus on determines so much. I could be in Disney World with my whole family around me and be so focused on being stuck in a wheelchair that I miss out on all the fun. Or, I could be so in awe of how God put together such a perfect trip and feeling blessing upon blessing that I forget I’m in a wheelchair!   The author of today’s Psalm could have whined about how they were under attack, but instead they focused on the blessing of God’s justice. They weren’t worried about defamation of ch...

“May my accusers be humiliated and defeated. May those who want to harm me be covered with scorn and disgrace.”    Psalm 71:13  Just when you thought it couldn’t get any worse… Throughout history, people have faced trial and tribulation. We don’t like it. It’s not fun. We wouldn’t request it as we offer our petitions to God. But, could it be what’s best for us?  As we turn toward the end of Esther’s story, we see the Jews disseminated amongst the various provinces of Persia. They are stretched from India to Ethiopia, and along with them, God’s truth. They had been uprooted from their homeland and carried off into exile, but was God seeking to be mean to them through this, or was He using them to plant the seeds of His love and truth throughout the known world? No, these people weren’t carrying the gospel, it hadn’t been written yet, but they were the people of God. They had His Word. They had His Name. Wherever they went, they were different. Haman even called i...

  “A faithful person will have an abundance of blessings, but the one who hastens to gain riches will not go unpunished.”  Proverbs 28:20  After my husband was laid off recently, we have been facing some questions and choices about his future career. Does he continue in the tech field because it pays well, or does he focus on something in more of the social service genre because it is more fulfilling? There are a lot of pieces to this puzzle and we are far from a decision.   As I mentioned before , one of the things that we have benefitted greatly from with his previous job was the healthcare. Spoiler alert, not only does working in social services pay less, the healthcare isn’t as good either. I have multiple chronic conditions as well as a brain tumor. My conditions are pretty much all degenerative, meaning that it is likely things will get more challenging, and therefore more expensive, over time. The day my husband lost his job, I told him, “God is my health ...

  “The one who digs a pit will fall into it; the one who rolls a stone – it will come back on him.”  Proverbs 26:27  “Vengeance is mine, I will repay.” Says the Lord in Romans 12:19b . Why does He need to say this? Because hurt people hurt people. It is in our nature, our sin nature, when we are hit, to hit back. “Revenge is a dish best served cold” says the Klingon proverb. When we are injured by someone, it is likely that we will either consciously or unconsciously seek to hurt them in return. But that’s not what God wants us to do. He’s not asking us to just put up and shut up though, He’s asking us to trust Him that He will bring everything together as it should be. Esther and Mordecai got to witness this, along with all the Jewish people living in exile.   Haman was a vile man. You can see this not just in what people say about him, but in his actions. Somewhere back in history, he, too, was hurt. We don’t know Haman’s back story, but from the history of the...

   As a young wife and mom, I struggled. I was also young in my faith, having only started walking with Jesus a few months after my first son was born. Everything was hard. I had four kids under 6, one of them newly brought into our home from a war-torn country with all the trauma that goes along with it. The other 3 were no cake walk either with serious food allergies that had to be catered to, making it so that I had to make nearly everything we ate from scratch. I was also in the early years of my marriage, and we were simultaneously learning how to be good Christians and good spouses, and had mastered neither. I heard the story of Esther, and I wondered, could God have brought me here for such a times as this?   Fast forward several years and I’m two years into braces, not a fun journey, and facing complete reconstructive jaw surgery. Months of recovery while trying to balance caring for and homeschooling four kids. My husband was travelling regularly, being gone...

  “For the Lord promotes justice, and never abandons his faithful followers. They are permanently secure, but the children of the wicked are wiped out.”   Psalm 37:28  Have you ever made cookies? It’s a process. First you put in the softened butter and you turn on the mixer to beat it, a lot. You beat it and beat it until it is “creamed”. If you were the butter, you wouldn’t think very well of this! But then you add in the sugar. That’s sweet! But wait! Then comes the beating again! When you finish this part though, the butter and sugar have come together in a wonderful cohesiveness. It was brutal, but the results are smooth and sparkly and sweet, but not quite cookies yet! Next, someone comes along and lays an egg on it. Eww. Have you ever just had a load of icky, gooey gunk dropped in your life? You know, like a lay off, or a chronic illness, or a broken relationship. Just yuck. Or at least it seems that way, but it has a purpose! Yet again, the mixture is beat...

  “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.”   Philippians 4:6  After yesterday’s study, you’d think that this verse would immediately draw my heart to anxiety over my husband’s job search and the future of my health insurance, but I’m focused on something much more immediate today, pain. Over the last several days my pain levels have been steadily increasing, and my standard pain management meds and techniques have been steadily less effective.   This morning, I am at a solid 6, maybe even a 7. What does that mean? Good question. I hate pain scales. I hate when a doctor asks, “On a scale of 1-10, what is your pain at?” I have SO MANY MEMES for that! You see, everyone experiences pain differently. I’ve heard so many people say, “My pain is at a 10” or even “11.” I could never and have never said that, because on my pain scale if I’m at a 10, I’m unconscious. 10 is where...

  “I will bless those who bless you, but the one who treats you lightly I must curse, so that all the families of the earth may receive blessing through you.”   Genesis 12:3  This morning we found out that after more than 25 years with his company, my husband was laid off. We had several conversations this morning, prayed together multiple times (I am so blessed to have a husband that loves the Lord!), and still we both are in more than a little shock. My husband left to have a meeting about a prospective job opportunity, and I sat down to finally do my Bible study. I never have to wonder if God has a plan, or if He has put things together with intentional timing, because I have seen it first hand so often, and today was one of those times. Here’s an excerpt from the devotional for today that sounded like it was written directly to me: “Just like Abram, we often find ourselves walking through seasons of uncertainty, not knowing what the future holds. But the sa...