Salty Zebra

I would love to be able to say that I take pleasure in my weakness (2 Corinthians 2:8-10), shine bright for all to see (Matthew 5:16), and count it joy to navigate trials (James 1:2). However, in reality, I am fine. I am neither here nor there and neither happy nor sad. I reside somewhere in the middle. I remain steadfast to NOT reside in the muck, sitting and wallowing in the suck. Too often I focus on what is going wrong; an illness, financial crisis, relationship struggles, disorganized environment, or uncertainty.  I find myself doubting my ability to navigate my circumstances, provide value to those around me, or measure up to my own expectations. If I could only stop making mistakes, stop being selfish, and stop being lazy. I want to contribute more, feel more, and be more. And yet, I really am enough, even when I am barely hanging on taking care of myself. There are times in our lives where what we need to do, what is best to do, is not what we want to do. I want to

Warning : this entire blog post was created using speech to text on my phone. I am unable to read it, so please forgive any typos. I've always seen myself as a glass half- full type of person. So, because I've struggled quite a bit emotionally and physically since surgery, I didn't feel like I had anything of value to say here. I've had so many people comment on my positive attitude with everything going on, that it became a source of pride. If I couldn't come up with some way to put a positive spin on my situation, then I had no business writing a blog post. The fact is, recovering from brain surgery is really hard. You feel helpless, and hopeless. Those around you try really hard, so you try to fake it until you make it. I'm in a pretty low place this morning, so the rough honesty is coming out. Today, I like to share about my time in the hospital. Monday, the 24th, we headed up to the hospital bright and early. There were very few people scheduled