Loving our Enemies

 

Dear friends, if God so loved us, then, we also ought to love one another. No one has seen God at any time. If we love one another, God resides in us, and his love is perfected in us.  1 John 4:11-12

 Some of my loved ones have struggled at work with managers that they do not get along with. This has ranged from a situation where the manager is not supportive enough to one where they are outright abusive. When they come to me, my first response is to listen to them and let them know they are heard and loved. I validate their feelings, because that is so important. I’ve learned that in my own life so many times! But, if they are interested in advice beyond a listening ear, which they aren’t always, then we have the talk about loving your enemies.

 In Matthew 5:43-48 we read that while we should obviously love those who love us back, the true test of love is when we love our enemies. Not just love them, but pray for them. I’ve noticed both in my life and in the lives of my loved ones, that once we embark upon praying for someone who is treating us unkindly or with whom we have a broken relationship, that things begin to change. As much as we’d like the change to begin with the person we feel is against us, often it begins with us instead. Perhaps it comes as a perspective shift. Something happens that causes us to see them as a real person with trials and hurts, just like us, rather than our enemy. I’ve seen this in one person I’ve prayed for as they learned details of their persecutor’s life that gave them empathy for the person. This caused a gentle shift to begin to happen from wanting them harmed, to wishing them well.

 I can’t help but wonder if this is the opposite mindset to one often developed in war where people are taught to see their enemies as sub-human, evil, undeserving of empathy or love. You can’t argue that this would make it easier to hurt or kill them! But that shifts over into the country as a whole. Racism and hatred for certain ethnicities permeate a culture. You start to see everyone who looks a certain way as a “bad guy.” If you stop to consider this rationally, you’ll realize that no people group will be comprised entirely of evil people, but rarely does rationality factor into these group thinks.

Here's the Thing: If we were to take Jesus’ advice and pray for those who persecute us, instead of stomping our feet and demanding our rights, we would well and truly be changed by Him. I’ve even seen that change flow over into relationships with the persecutor, causing them to have a softening of heart as well. Once we genuinely care for someone and are intentionally seeking their good, people can tell. It might help them lower their defenses, or it might irritate them even further, who knows, but we can trust that when we are doing things Jesus’ way, good will come from it.