Love, Honor and Obey

 

Just as the Father has loved me, I have also loved you; remain in my love. If you obey my commandments, you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed my Father’s commandments and remain in his love.  John 15:9-10

 This morning I had to slow down and recognize that I was assuming meanings for the word, “obey.” I was inferring upon it that which I understood and, perhaps, that which I wanted. I was deciding what it meant to obey God, but I needed to step back and see what He meant – because that is so much more important!

OBEY, verb transitive [Latin obedio; Gr.]

1.       To comply with the commands, orders or instructions of a superior, or with the requirements of law, moral, political or municipal; to do that which is commanded or required, or to forbear doing that which is prohibited.

 This seems pretty straightforward. Do what you’re told, don’t do what you’re told not to. But it feels like there’s more. The definition went on to say…

3. To submit to the direction or control of. Seamen say, the ship will not obey the helm.

Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, that ye should obey it in the lusts thereof. Romans 6:12. James 3:3.

4. To yield to the impulse, power or operation of; as, to obey stimulus.

Relentless time, destroying power, whom stone and brass obey

 I love how these further definitions use the words “submit” and “yield.” These refer to how we react to forces beyond ourselves. We can fight against the wind (or worse, spit into it!) or we can allow it to fill our sails and cause us to glide swiftly across the water. The issue comes in when the wind is blowing in a different direction than we’d like to travel, and I think that applies to obedience as well. As long as God is telling us to do something we want to do anyways, it’s easy. But when He instructs us to go a different way, we bristle.

 As I was reading this passage this morning, I was impressed with the idea of relationships. Whether we use the word “obey” or not, that is what we do when we are in a healthy relationship with anyone. We obey their requests for what we do and don’t do with and around them. Maybe your loved one just can’t handle the sound of chewing with your mouth open, so you “obey” them in being careful to close your mouth before chewing. This isn’t what one would call a “command” or “order” but it is something that you obey nonetheless because you care about the person and want to please them. In the past, there was a line in the marriage ceremony instructing one member to “love, honor and obey.” In our modern times, we’ve ascribed a meaning of power, control and authority to this phrase that causes us to chafe. We don’t want to think of our husband being in control of us or having power over us. But I don’t think that was the original intention at all, like my earlier misinterpretation, I think our society has lost what it truly means to obey.

 I obey my husband. No, he doesn’t march around the house shouting orders and expecting me to fall in line. I change and adapt my behavior and our interactions to please and honor him because I love him. I want him to be happy. I want him to feel loved. I carry the kitchen trash can out, along with the bag, because that’s the way he likes it done. My kids don’t. They say, “Don’t tell Dad!” and slide the bag out of the trash can scurrying out the door quickly. They think he’s ridiculous in wanting the can to go with it, but the reality is he does it for a reason. There have been times, not many but some, where the trash bag had a leak and dripped gross, gooey liquid all along the path to the door. Eww!! This is why my husband likes the can to go with the bag. Regardless, though, the fact that it matters to him should make it matter to me. And it should matter to me whether he is home or not, in the room or not. Not because I’m afraid of him or worried that he’ll find out, but because I’m honoring him with my obedience. I do it because I love him.

 In the same way, if not a deeper, more energized way, I need to honor and obey God because I love Him! By obeying God, I show that I believe that what He has directed me to do is best and for my good. I’m agreeing with Him and trusting Him. I may not understand it, in fact I often don’t, but I need to obey anyways because first comes the heart. First I need to align my heart with God and then, sometimes, my head gets to join in as I come to a realization of how what God had directed really was beneficial. God’s commands, laws, and guidance is never overbearing or intended to create a blistering power structure. He tells us what to do because it is what’s best. He tells us to stay on the path because He knows if we wade through the weeds we might get ticks. He has our best at heart, and more than anyone else in the whole world, He actually knows what that best is.

Here’s the Thing: Obeying is not burdensome, it’s freeing. Obeying God sets us free from sin, from death, from the weight of guilt and shame, from the consequences of our own mistakes. When we do it His way, things work out!

Abiding in Jesus

Introduction

1. Week 1: Trusting the Gardener's Work
1. John 15:1 - Seven Things Jesus Is
2. John 15:2 - Pinch Those Suckers Out!
3. Philippians 2:12-13 - Working Out My Salvation
4. Matthew 5:16 - Stay Salty!
5. 1 John 1:6 - Walking in Relationship
2. Week 2: Bearing Lasting Fruit
1. John 15:3-4 - It Takes Two to Abide
2. John 15:5 - Grafted In
3. John 15:6 - The Most Important Post You'll Ever Read
4. Psalm 1:1-3 - What We Expect to See
5. Galatians 5:22 - The Fruit of the Spirit's Not a Coconut!
3. Week 3: Abiding in Jesus Through His Word
1. John 15:7-8 - Lost in the Wilderness
2. John 8:31-32 - The Truth Shall Set You Free
3. Psalm 119:9-11 - Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth
4. Psalm 119:15-16 - Considering His Ways
5. 2 Timothy 3:16-17 - How is He Going to Use THAT?!?
4. Week 4: Abiding in Jesus Through Obedience
   
1. John 15:9-10 - Love, Honor and Obey
2. James 1:22 - The Forgetful Listener
3. 1 John 3:24 - How Can I Know if I Have the Holy Spirit in Me?
4. Matthew 7:24-25 - What's Your House Made Of?
5. John 14:23-24 - Obeying with All My Heart
5. Week 5: Abiding in Jesus Through Love
1. John 15:11-12 - Waking Up on the Right Side of the Bed
2. John 15:13-14 - Laying Down Your Life
3. 1 John 4:10 - In This is Love
4. 1 John 4:11-12 - Loving our Enemies
5. Romans 12:9-13 - Roadmap to Abiding in Christ
6. Week 6: Chosen and Commissioned by Christ to Bear Fruit
1. John 15:15 - A Friend that Sticks Closer than a Brother
2. John 15:16 - Bloom Where You’re Planted
3. Ephesians 2:10 - Do the Thing in Front of You
4. Galatians 6:9 - We Must Not Grow Weary in Doing Good
5. John 15:17 - What Does Abiding in Christ Look Like?

Wrap-Up