Am I Pretty?


How I look has changed a lot over the last year. Just under a year ago my head was shaved for brain surgery and over the last year my hair has been growing out. I’ve had to do a lot more resting and less exercise and activity so I’ve put on weight. I had arm surgery a couple of months ago which left me with a splint for most of that time and now an arm with 13 scars on it. I look so different.

A big part of me has worried so much about how my husband sees me. Does he still find me attractive? You see, he’s not one to voice things like that. Words of affirmation were not used in his home growing up and they are not a part of his standard vocabulary. It’s funny though, as I read today’s verses I realized that he has, in fact, been telling me I’m pretty, just in a different way.

Let your beauty not be external - the braiding of hair and wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes - but the inner person of the heart, the lasting beauty of a gentle and tranquil spirit, which is precious in God's sight. 1 Peter 3:3-4

“You bring balance to our family.” My husband tells me this all the time. At first I didn’t fully understand what it meant. I’m beginning to grasp it though. I think he’s attributing some of these qualities of a “gentle and tranquil spirit” to me. As we make plans or have conversations with our kids, he leans on me to help even out some of his rough edges. I think he’s telling me I’m beautiful on the inside, and that’s what he sees.

Here's the Thing: If I had to choose between being beautiful on the outside or the inside, there’s no contest. I’d choose inside every time. Would I like to lose twenty (or thirty) pounds? Definitely! But more importantly, I need to focus on being that gentle and tranquil spirit for my family.

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