Praying God's Wisdom: Seasons and Rhythms

 

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens:  Ecclesiastes 3:1

 Our incredible, all-knowing, imaginative God created rhythms and seasons in the world. Trees require the fall to let go and the winter to rest so that in the spring they can have new growth for summer’s bounty. The moon circles the earth every month, it’s gravity pulling on us in different ways and causing changes in the ocean’s tides – but what many don’t know is that the gravitational pull of the moon actually stabilizes the earth’s rotation, keeping our seasons on track and our axis tilted properly. Even day and night are rhythms that our bodies require to live and function well – throw it off with something like jet lag and you’ll get a crash course on it’s importance. Nothing in this life lasts forever, except for our perfect and eternal God.

 This week I enter a new season. Twenty-seven years ago we moved into this house and I was pregnant with our first child. This week I watch with proud tears as my youngest son moves out of it and into his own home. Twenty-seven years, more than half my life. Being a mom with kids at home defined who I was. That last word just hit me, “was.” That’s not me anymore. I’m heading into a new season.

 Many people refer to it as an “empty nest,” but my nest doesn’t feel empty. My husband and I have become so much more to each other over the years, filling each other’s hearts and our home. This house feels so much different with just the two of us now than it did when we first moved in. We have our spaces that are primarily ours, and those we share, and those that are waiting to be filled by loved ones. And, of course, our sweet little dogs think it all belongs to them and we are the guests 😂.

 At the same time, it is very different. It’s quieter, except when my husband is working from home and listening to training videos at full volume and 2x speed. I’m not going to get texts from my son every night letting me know he’s on his way home from work so I can get dinner ready. How will I know when to eat? Just kidding, my tummy will help with that. My table will feel so empty though. The little things that were annoying in the past will be fondly missed: dirty socks wadded up and left in random places, a plethora of cars filling my driveway and the front of the house, dirty dishes left mysteriously in the bathroom. It feels weird.

 But I know it is good. It is good for them to head out on their own, to find their individuality, to grow their own relationships with God. With the first three of my kids, moving out grew and blossomed our relationships wonderfully. We enjoy each other, appreciate each other so much more. I guess distance does make the heart grow fonder! My youngest was so gracious to stay with us for a few extra years, helping out as I recovered from brain surgery and find my footing so to speak, but I know that he chafed a bit at living with his parents. We all tried to be good roommates for each other, but there’s still a parent-child dynamic that overshadowed interactions. I pray he finds joy and peace in his own space, but still feels drawn to occasionally visit his old stomping ground.

 God has helpfully been establishing some new rhythms in my life, helping me to balance responsibilities in a doable way that fills my days with purpose, but doesn’t leave me exhausted and spent. The timing couldn’t be better! I’m not wondering what I will do with myself now that I don’t have kids at home, because I already know. I was graced with a  transition period where my son lived here, but wasn’t home much, so I started filling my hours and days.

 The last twenty-seven years have been about loving and teaching and growing my children to be ready to face this world. Now we get to see how that all comes out. So far, I’m pretty pleased. They are all good people that I would choose to spend time with, even if I wasn’t related to them. They have good hearts that love others and operate out of a place of kindness instead of selfishness. They have good heads on their shoulders and, while of course they will make their fair share of mistakes, they’ve learned to throw down the shovel before the hole gets too deep to climb out of and it takes way less for them to recognize their situations than it did for me at their age. And that’s what we all hope for, right? That our children will do a little better than we did.

Here’s the Thing: I am so proud of my son and his accomplishment of buying his own home at 22. I am so excited for all that God has in store for him and his siblings as they walk into the future. I am looking forward to the changes in our relationship and how we will grow closer through distance. But I am still sad. It’s bittersweet.