Day 30: Pruning hurts!

 

    Five years ago, almost exactly, I was out on the peninsula at my Christian Yoga training.  It was intense with days starting at 6am and ending at 10, with twenty women and one man trying to get through three showers.  The information came at us as if it was issued through a firehose.  They had so much to teach us and so little time.  There were a few special moments for breaks though where we got to explore the grounds of the retreat center.  It was fall at the time and I began to get curious about why leaves change color and fall off at this time of year.  There's a very long explanation, but a few thing stood out to me.  The first was that the leaves changed color because the energy in them was being drawn back into the tree.  This energy would help the tree survive the winter when food was more scarce.  Then, when the time was right, a special chemical reaction would tell the tree it was time to let go of the leaf.  The chemical that did this is abbreviated ABA, which to me was notably similar to God's title of Abba, or Daddy.  So, at the right time, God tells the tree when it's time to let go of something, and He does the same for us.  Our lives have seasons and very little is intended to remain with us forever.  At this time in my life my children were beginning to grow up and move out.  Our fifteen-year homeschooling had ended and I was looking for the next steps God had for me.  It was time for me to let go.  But it was also beautiful.  Fall is probably my favorite season.  The colors are amazing, the crisp air, apple cider, bon fires, pumpkins.  This season of letting go of my adult children was also beautiful.  I got to see them do amazing things and reach for new heights.  I got to see some of the fruit of my parenting.  I had room in my life for new things.

    From the beautiful fall colors, we head into to the dark and desolation of winter.  I had no idea my winter season was coming so soon.  Before long, the tree that is me looked a lot like the one above.  Good gardeners and arborists prune in the dead of winter.  According to Fiskars they do this because it, "allows your trees to reach their full potential and live a long life," When you remove extra branches, "Opening up the canopy to let light and air filter throughout the entire tree allows for increased foliage while decreasing the risk of disease," and, "you create a strong tree that's ultimately able to withstand winter storms and high winds."  I think this might be a lot of what God has been doing in my life over the last couple of years.  Yes, I have drastically fewer social connections, but I'm not sure that's a bad thing.  I don't do as much or go as many places, again, not necessarily bad.  What I choose to do is intentional.  It has to be because I only have so much energy to spend each day.  I'm learning what is truly important.  I am learning who really cares. My roots are digging deeper into my relationship with God so that when the storms of life come, I will not be destroyed.  I believe that eventually, what looks like a barren, dead, useless life will transform into this:

Here's the thing:  I don't know why I'm at where I am or where I'm going from here, but I believe that God has a good plan for me and this pruning is a part of it.  In John 15 Jesus talks about how God the Father is the gardener.  He prunes us for our good so that we can reach our full potential and have a long life.  Pruning hurts, but it's important.