For Such a Time as This

 

 As a young wife and mom, I struggled. I was also young in my faith, having only started walking with Jesus a few months after my first son was born. Everything was hard. I had four kids under 6, one of them newly brought into our home from a war-torn country with all the trauma that goes along with it. The other 3 were no cake walk either with serious food allergies that had to be catered to, making it so that I had to make nearly everything we ate from scratch. I was also in the early years of my marriage, and we were simultaneously learning how to be good Christians and good spouses, and had mastered neither. I heard the story of Esther, and I wondered, could God have brought me here for such a times as this?

 Fast forward several years and I’m two years into braces, not a fun journey, and facing complete reconstructive jaw surgery. Months of recovery while trying to balance caring for and homeschooling four kids. My husband was travelling regularly, being gone for as much as 5-6 weeks at a time. No, we still didn’t have the whole marriage thing perfected, that was rough. Had God brought me to that place for such a time as this?

 A few years later, things all seemed to be coming to a head. My kids were moving on to different schooling – one to university, two to Running Start (a community college during your last two years of high school program), and one to private school. God had put on my heart a Christian Yoga ministry, that’s a huge story for another post, but at the same time, I began to be diagnosed - finally. You see, I had struggled for years with a variety of symptoms, some more severe than others, and now it was getting so bad that I literally couldn’t eat. Anything I put in my stomach, even chicken broth, would have me doubled over in pain for hours. God put me on a path that intersected with my first functional medicine doctor who ran dozens and dozens of tests, and for once, the labs didn’t come back normal! She actually knew what was wrong with me! Or at least some of what was wrong with me. Getting direction was good, but what would all these diagnoses mean for my life, my family’s life, my ministry, my future? Perhaps God had brought me there for such a time as this?

 Things had progressed swimmingly, despite my symptoms getting worse instead of better. The Yoga ministry God had birthed through me grew to shocking levels with hundreds of people hearing the good news of Jesus through it, many who would never have darkened the door of a traditional church service. And then everything began to fall apart! A series of tragic, heart-breaking experiences closed the doors of our church to the ministry. Then COVID, well COVID. Everybody understands that. Then I got diagnosed with Ehlers-Danlos Syndromes (EDS). That was after a series of intense, crippling connective tissue tears over three years. What I had thought was my purpose, my “such a time as this” was ripped away from me. But God was still there. He was still unsurprised, unphased. And this whisper came, perhaps God has brought you here for such a time as this?

 Just a couple of years later, as I am continuing to explore what my purpose could be, as I have begun my blog, but I still haven’t figured out how to find readers, as I am enthusiastically pursuing my love for travel, I am side-swiped yet again. This time, it’s a brain tumor. Really God? This is getting a bit extreme! I go from a politically challenged and medically gray diagnosis the doctors have heard of but don’t believe I could have (Lyme Disease), to a rare disease they’ve never heard of and have to Google RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME, to a brain tumor so rare that only a handful of people in the entire world could have it, and most of them will never find out. Thankfully, by now we have figured out this marriage thing and my husband is my rock, sticking it out with me 24-7 in the ICU for weeks on end, figuring out how to manage IV antibiotics at home, trying to work and maintain his job while taking me to one doctor appointment, one ER visit in The City, one more thing after another, often 8 or more appointments in a week, and rarely less than a 2 hour drive each way. But he never gives up, he determines to be a better employee, a better volunteer with the Mission, a better Dad, a better husband. He inspires me and reminds me that, perhaps I am here for such a time as this?

 Then, just two years later, that incredible man gets the news that he has been let go from the job where he served so faithfully, so above-and-beyond, for 27 years. All this as we’re exploring the idea of living in service full-time in a missionary style capacity, but one that still requires the funding we were expecting his job to provide. All this as my symptoms grow stronger and my capabilities lessen. And, of course, this all happens when I’m in the middle of a Bible study on Esther. I wonder once more, perhaps God has brought me to this place, for such a time as this?

Here's the Thing: Did I miss my calling earlier in life? Was I wrong and it was yet to come? No, I don’t think so. I think that God brought me to each of these crossroads in life, and others besides, intentionally, and that each time, He had brought me to that place for such a time as this. I think that, when we walk with Jesus, surrendered to His purpose and His calling, we will face many such times in our lives. And so, I challenge you, don’t think you’ve fulfilled your purpose, or it couldn’t be time yet. Treat every opportunity as – such a time as this!