Dispelling the Gloom

 

The gloom will be dispelled for those who were anxious. (Isaiah 9:1a)

  These last few weeks for me have been cloaked in darkness. Only God knows the reason. Is it because those around me have been dealing with depression for so long and it finally wore off on me? Is it because of the pain I’ve been experiencing ratcheting up a few more notches? Is it the death threats and the darkness of that situation? Is it a chemical imbalance in my body that has little or nothing to do with my external circumstances? Again, only God knows. What I know is that it is very real and I have been experiencing it deeply. I hoped a cruise to sunnier climates would help last week, but I found that the darkness just followed me there too.

 Today’s SOAP verse for our new study, The Savior Who Comes Near, is Isaiah 9:6-7, “For a child has been born to us, a son has been given to us. He shoulders responsibility and is called Wonderful Adviser, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.” It’s a familiar verse often quoted at Christmastime. But as I began the background passage reading today, the first verse of this chapter, shared above, is what stood out to me, how God spoke to my heart, and what I’d like to focus on today.

 In these last few weeks, I have been unusually drawn to the holiday season. In recent years, maybe really far back if I was to be entirely honest, I haven’t looked forward to Christmas very much, let alone Thanksgiving. Perhaps this has to do with entering a season of life where my kids are not guaranteed to be there for the holidays anymore. It’s not like when they were little and I knew where they were sleeping in their beds and it was a race to see who would get up first on Christmas morning (or whatever day we were celebrating Christmas as a family that year). Now I look forward to a phone call from one or more of them on the holidays instead. I’ve been blessed with at least having a couple of my kids with me for each holiday though! So, with this in mind, it is a little strange to me to be looking forward to the holidays so much this year. I remember I was vacuuming a couple of weeks ago and where I wanted to put the Christmas tree this year popped into my head, which prompted me to ask my daughter about when she could visit to help with the decorations – as I wouldn’t dare to do them without her! I even put together a whole web form to gather my family’s preferences for Thanksgiving dinner to help me plan it, as this is only the second time in memory that I’ve hosted Thanksgiving - the first being in 2020 for obvious reasons. That may sound funny to many, putting together a web form for Thanksgiving, but it’s completely on brand for me and my family didn’t even bat an eye. I even had the sincere desire to open the invites to our family’s acquaintances that need a place to celebrate – something that I would have been willing to do in the past, but I certainly wouldn't have looked forward to. My son shared with me that his friend nearly cried when he was invited to join us. I can’t tell you how happy it makes me to have the desire to open the door of our home in this way.

Here's the Thing: Strangely, the interest and excitement I’ve had for the holidays this year has coincided with my depression. How can I be positively looking forward to something and still feel the stifling weight of a heavy, wet blanket on my heart? But I have hope. My hope is built on nothing less than Jesus’ blood and righteousness, as the song goes. I have hope in Jesus and I am looking forward to drawing near to Him as He draws near to me during this holiday season. Perhaps, as the verse above indicates, my gloom will be dispelled in this!