Walking in His Ways: Without Hierarchy There's Anarchy

 

However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.  Ephesians 5:33

 Marriage has been a hot topic in our family of late as we’ve seen the destruction of a marriage of a close family member. We’ve spent countless hours talking about it, praying about it, reading about it. One of the outcomes of this is that I feel like I have a better understanding of what a healthy marriage looks like. This passage is one I’ve learned from many, many times over the years, and each time with a growing understanding. Just a few months ago I wrote a post on this very concept, and already I feel as though I’ve learned more about it!

 Recently at church, the speaker (I think it was the pastor's wife, but I've gotten my weeks mixed up in my mind) shared that without hierarchy we have anarchy. They didn’t use those exact words, but that’s the concept they were trying to get across. They equated the church to the military where there are all different ranks: general, captain, lieutenant, private, etc. They acknowledged that people’s intelligence or skill set was not necessarily represented by their rank (i.e. a general must be smarter than a private), but that for the common good, for the ability to function, members submit to those of a higher rank over them. When you receive a command to go do something, it is not the time to stop and argue over the decision’s merits, you have to just do it. That’s a great deal of what boot camp is about, teaching us to do what we’re told. You see, there’s something in us that wants to rebel against that. Something that says even if we agree with what we’re being told, if someone told us to do it, now we won’t. It’s the sin nature in us, I think. In the military, I’m told, they go to great lengths to “teach” that out of us. I doubt they are 100% successful, but they’ve done well enough to keep things running, to keep people running into danger that their common sense is firing off all sorts of alarm bells against. There’s a similar situation in Fire Departments. They work in crisis situations in which split second decisions need to be made and obeyed. You can’t have a quorum of fire fighters standing on the lawn of a burning home trying to agree on the best way to put the fire out. The senior staff, who are working off of the wisdom of experience, make the best calls they can, and those under them jump to it.

 This is what submission looks like. It’s not a simpering weakling cowering in a corner while someone barks orders at her. It’s a strong individual who trusts Jesus to put things together for good and believe that He has orchestrated the people and positions He has put them into. Submission in marriage in particular also involves love and trust. You’re not trusting though that your spouse is smarter or more capable than you, you are trusting that God will direct them and that He will put the situation together for good and for His perfect plan. In order for your husband to lead, he needs to be followed. Just like when a general sends troops into battle or a fire battalion commander sends fire fighters into the flames, a husband needs to know that when he makes a decision, when he sets a direction for the family, he will be obeyed. Husbands have a difficult roll in this, and a huge responsibility. They need to be supported and respected in order to do their jobs properly. And as I mentioned before, the more we show that respect, the more that pours back to us in the love we need.

Here's the Thing: Each of us has a job to do, a roll to play in the kingdom of God. It’s so important for us to know our role, to know our job, in order to do it with excellence. God gave us these instructions in His Word so that we can feel secure in the place He has called us to knowing that He will work out all the “what if’s.”