Brain Tumor Update

 

 Last week I did my regular checkup and MRI for my brain tumor. I have had a lot of neurological symptoms, so we were a little concerned going into this one. We had decided in advance though that regardless of the outcome, we were going to do our big Disney trip coming up in May. That made me feel a little better, but I'm not excited about the idea of doing radiation, so I was probably holding my breath a little. 

 As I mentioned in this post, the whole idea of living six-months at a time, essentially living life on a lease, is overwhelming. You don't know quite how to feel. You don't know quite how to plan. You just don't know, that's the kicker. I get that no one knows, but still, for the most part you can make plans in life and know that you will likely get to follow them through.

 So we got up at o-dark-thirty to head into the city for my MRI since traffic is so bad at that time of day. We made it with some time to spare though, so we sat in a waiting room and my husband worked while I wrote a blog post on my phone. At the appointed time, we headed to radiology where I checked in and only waited a few minutes before they brought me back. First you go to the changing room and then you wait in the neighboring cubicles until a nurse is ready to prep your IV. Shortly after that was in, they took me to the secondary waiting area, right outside the MRI room. One nice perk at UW is that the chairs in both of these areas recline and are heated! It was in this secondary area that I realized I had forgotten to take off my wedding ring. That was close! They asked me what kind of music I would like to listen to and I requested contemporary Christian.  What I got was Christian, but I certainly wouldn't call it contemporary. At least I knew the words though, and that was my intention, something to keep my mind on Jesus instead of the tumor or the crazy loud knocking of the MRI machine I was encompassed by. The MRI went much faster than I had remembered in the past, and before I knew it I was out, changed back into my clothes, and returned to my husband waiting in the lobby. 

 We had some time on our hands before my appointment at the tumor center, so we went to the cafeteria and grabbed some breakfast. They had a nice, gluten-free, Denver scramble available so we both ordered that. We sat in our usual area, we've developed a few routines at this hospital over the last two years, and ate with a lovely view of the morning outside. When we finished, we headed to the tumor center and they brought us back to a room shortly after we arrived.

 First the nurse brought us back and went through the obligatory med and chart update. I ended up bleeding excessively after they removed my IV this time, something that has never happened before, so they had to change my dressing on that as well. Because my ventroperitoneal (VP) shunt is programmed with a magnet, the MRI machine messes up its settings, so they have to reset it every time I get scanned. The tech came in and got it on the first try, which was quite impressive since we've had times where it took someone 30+ minutes and trying a variety of tools to get it set. They also let us in on the info that my scan had come back with no change!

 Shortly after he left, my Neuro-Radio-Oncologist came in. I've mentioned before that I like her, but again I was really impressed with her care, the way she made sure I understood all that she shared, the way she listened to and addressed my concerns, and the way she was straightforward with us and gave us clear answers, at least as much as she could in such an unclear situation. She agreed that my symptoms might have to do with my tumor, but at this juncture the only treatment available to me is radiation and that will only make my symptoms worse, not better.

 She pulled up her special software that compares current and past scans and showed us how it looked today and before, confirming that we agreed that it had not noticeably changed. Because we are two years post-op, and things don't seem to be doing much, she suggested that we push my next scan out to one year instead of six months. This was a possibility we had discussed beforehand so we were prepared to agree when she presented it. I'm glad we talked about it before so we weren't trying to figure out how each other felt about it on the spot! So I made my appointments for next year and we were on our way.

Here's the Thing: As I'm writing this, it seems rather blow-by-blow and matter-of-fact. The truth is there was a fair amount of emotion in each of the steps that day. Sitting in the first MRI waiting room always hits me as I remember back to my first post-op MRI and realizing that this will be a reality for me for the rest of my life. I was even sitting in the same chair, so the view triggered all sorts of memories and emotions. I prayed through it, and prayed for the other patients there with me also. That helps a lot. I'm glad I don't have to do it for another year, Lord willing.