Salty Zebra

    Ten days after I received the call letting me know that they found something on the MRI I was sitting in the office of a Neurosurgeon.  I have no doubt that God orchestrated the circumstances that had brought me there, including a friend who is also dealing with a brain tumor recommending this clinic. But how could any of this be real? Only a couple of people knew what was going on, but there wasn't much to know before this appointment. All we had were a few key phrases on the MRI Study Result and our dear friend, Dr. Google.  I went into the appointment with the impression that the doctor would either recommend watching and waiting, doing another MRI in six months and seeing if anything changed, or taking it out right away.  In previous encounters where the option was to wait or do something I have vastly preferred doing something, but this time it was different. I had read about the potential complications of surgery and I was scared.  Not to mention, needing to act right awa

    I've struggled lately with fear.  I fear that I cannot handle today:  the pain, the tasks at hand, the emotional cost.  I fear what the future will hold.  I create in my mind a projection of what that future might look like based on a downward trend that I perceive my body is on.  The truth is, God has not given me a vision of the future or knowledge of what is to come.  Everything I am worrying about is pure speculation.  I have taken away the phrase, "What if?" reasoning that the assumptions I am making about my trajectory are reasoned and have historical basis.  The truth is, my fears are still "What if?"s, I've just reframed them into something that seems more responsible.       So what's the answer to fear? Peace.  In John 14:27 (NIV) Jesus tells us, " Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid."  In the NET it reads, "Do not let you

      I've avoided this topic, didn't plan on writing about it at all to be honest.  But this morning as I was talking with my husband he shared that he believed it is important to share all aspects of my faith walk because there might be someone out there that needs to hear it.       So about a month ago we decided it was time to leave our church.  We did not come to this conclusion easily - it was a 9 month, painful journey.  Even more painful as it was just two years ago this fall that we had to leave our previous church.  This makes me feel like we come across as people who don't take church membership seriously, or are looking for perfection - I assure you this is far from the truth.  We had spent nearly twenty years at the church we left two years ago, and we only left because the teaching had begun to stray far from biblical truth and the church also did not embrace the community in the way we felt led to do.  After a very short time we connected with a group of peop

I haven't written in a while because I've had covid. I'm still recovering, but doing much better overall. Today a thought from my devotional stood out to me enough that I wanted to share it. I'm studying the life of Joseph in the book of Genesis. Like the famous Job, Joseph experienced one suffering after another for thirteen years, through no fault of his own. Instead of falling into depression or raging against the injustice, though, he just kept doing the next right thing. Wherever he was at, whether sold into slavery or unjustly thrown in prison, he continued to act with integrity and do his best at whatever was assigned him. Eventually, blessing came his way and he was put in charge of all of Egypt. He was given a wife who bore him two sons. The names he gave his sons, Manasseh and Ephraim, show that his blessing outshone his suffering. When he named Ephraim, he said, "Certainly God has made me fruitful in the land of my suffering." In order t