Where He Leads I Will Follow: Believing

 

Then the Lord said to Abraham, “Why did Sarah laugh and say, ‘Will I really have a child, now that I am old?’ Is anything too hard for the Lord? I will return to you at the appointed time next year, and Sarah will have a son.”  Genesis 18:13-14

 When Stephen was being questioned in Acts 7:2-4, he told us that Abraham was called out of the land of Ur. This would have been his ancestral home, the only one he had ever known. Generations of his family lived here, as denoted in Genesis 11, and it would have been entirely counter-cultural for him to leave, but he did. He and Sarah (then Sarai) picked up and moved their entire household across the known world. Yes, he originally brought his dad with him, and they stopped over in Haran for a long time, likely decades, until he passed, but eventually they all ended up in Canaan, the land that God showed him. Abraham had to believe that God was calling him to move across the world, and show that belief with action. He then had to believe that God would create a nation beyond number from him, when his wife was barren and they had no children at nearly 75 years of age. He had to keep believing this for almost 25 years of continuing childlessness – can you imagine? That’s a lot of belief! No, they didn’t do it perfectly, but God used them anyways, just as He does with us.

 I, like Abraham, have an unpopular belief that comes from what I understand of what God’s shown me. I believe that, as of yet, God has not indicated that He has a miraculous healing in store for me. Every time I’ve brought this to Him, I’ve come away with the impression that God has plans to use my illness for His glory, and they don’t include large-scale healing. I believe 100% that God is with me every step of the way, that He will never leave me nor forsake me. I believe that He will empower me to handle, with His help, whatever comes my way. But I also believe that God has me where I’m at on purpose, for a purpose. I believe it is a part of His GOOD plan that I am sick, and He is going to use it, and already has in fact. This sometimes upsets people. They think I should be praying and believing for a miraculous healing, but I just don’t see that biblically. I believe that God can heal people, anyone in fact, but I also read that He doesn’t always. For one thing, with only two notable exceptions, everyone in human history has died. That’s billions and billions of people. Did God fail them? No, certainly not! I also see stories in the Bible, like the thorn in Paul’s flesh (2 Corinthians 12:7–10) which isn’t clearly explained but many have surmised was an illness or physical ailment, where God chose not to heal someone because of a greater, higher purpose. "My grace is enough for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness," (2 Corinthians 12:9). So, how is this belief hard? Well, for one thing, it upsets people. They indicate that I am unbiblical, ungodly, even sinful by not seeking miraculous healing. I see it as me obeying the call that I feel like God has put on me. Beyond that, my physical challenges are not fun, not fun at all, and it would be really nice to be free of them. The idea of healing is very alluring. I’ll admit, there have been many times where I prayed that if it is God’s will, He would allow this cup to pass from me, as Jesus did (Matthew 26:39), but each time I have received in response a sense that this is not His will, not His plan for me.

 When Sarah heard the Lord tell Abraham that she would have a child in today’s verse, she laughed. Did she laugh because she thought it was funny? Because she didn’t believe? Because the idea of having a child at her age was categorically overwhelming? Only Sarah and God know. But Sarah had packed up her household and moved across the world with Abraham. Followed him through many ridiculous adventures faithfully, even when he let her be taken by foreign kings (Genesis 12, 20). Her actions, her faithfulness, showed her belief in the call God had put on her and her husband’s lives. She may have laughed that day when she heard, but that laughter welled up into joy that followed her through her pregnancy and into naming her son in Genesis 21:6.

Here’s the Thing: Sometimes belief is easy. Sometimes God shows Himself to be faithful and we fall at His feet in worship. But sometimes it’s hard. Sometimes you have to wait for years, decades even, to see the fulfillment of God’s direction in your life. I think that’s really the kind of belief, the kind of faith, that God’s calling each of us to. It’s not about just believing in Jesus in our head, it about believing in Him through our actions, our choices, living life day by day.