Praying God's Wisdom: Your Days are Numbered!

Image Credit Brett Wilkins

Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom. Psalm 90:12

 I used to fear death. Especially when my kids were little, I would worry about what would happen to them if I were gone. I, vainly, thought that I knew best, could do best for them. My husband is wonderful and full of good qualities, but in that season of our lives I was the designated nurturer of the family, the one who kept the household running and the kids happy and healthy.

In 2004, when we went in to do our taxes, our CPA asked us if when we finished he could share with us about what they had been up to in Liberia, West Africa? Of course we said yes, and that was when I was introduced to America’s Step Child1. That’s how the country was referred to because it was the only country in the world ever colonized by America (did you know that? Most people don’t. I sure didn’t!), but America now has little or nothing to do with it. After decades of civil war and unrest, genocide on the most horrific scale, and the devastation of their entire infrastructure, the country was now deemed a 4^th world nation because its living standards were so far below the third world.

 That Spring we went to their organization's fundraiser, a spaghetti dinner where that year’s mission team, just two people, told their story of the war coming to the doorstep of their lodgings in country. They talked about gunfire and bombs, bodies being wheeled down the street in wheelbarrows in front of them, being evacuated by helicopter to a French warship off the coast and their harrowing three-day trip on it to a neighboring country from which they flew home. It was terrifying, and yet the pictures and videos they shared of the children affected by this war, many of which had be forced into fighting in it, tugged at my heart. I felt called to go, to be a part of this terrible, beautiful place and her people. But how could I do that when I had these three precious children at home who needed me? What if something happened to me over there? And that’s when I met Sara.

 Sara was one of those two people who had been in Liberia when things got so heated. Hearing her story, I learned that she, too, had young children at home. How could she justify leaving them and going to such a dangerous place? Boldy, I hope not rudely, I asked her just that, and her answer changed my life forever. She told me that she believed that our days are numbered by God, as today’s verse says. She believed that the day of her death had already been determined and that whether she was serving God and loving on children in a war-torn country or crossing the street right outside her home, she would die just the same. She figured she would rather die doing what God had called her to than while living a "safe" and boring life. I hope I’m phrasing that accurately, Sarah, but that’s what stuck in my heart more than twenty years ago and steers my choices to this day.

 So, as I’ve written about before, the very next year, 2005, I found myself in this same country. The war was officially over by now and we were not subjected to the same atrocities that the last team had been, but I can say that this trip was the first time I had an AK-47 pointed at my head and we very much bore witness to the devastation that had been wrought on this nation. This trip changed and shaped me in so many ways. I pray that I had some small benefit on the people that I encountered, but I know that they affected me deeply.

 Most people, when encountering this verse and others like it, think about how they need to be aware of their mortality, as the NET version states. They need to remember that death is coming and they need to make the most of their days, and this is a very powerful lesson and reminder indeed, but for me it taught me something quite different. I was already very aware of the specter of death, haunting my fears and dreams. What I needed to realize is that living in fear of it wouldn’t bless my life, or anyone else’s. Once I trusted the day and hour of my death into God’s hands, trusting that He already knew when and how it was coming and nothing I could do would change that, I was free. I was free of trying to control this one most powerful thing. I was free to follow God and serve Him, not worrying about the consequences because those were up to Him, not me.

 It wasn’t just this one trip that resulted from my revelation. I traveled to India on mission trips as well, twice. I felt free to go on vacation with my husband and not trapped by the fear of the plane crashing. It has also helped me to leave my health and all its potential pitfalls in God's trustworthy care. And, as my children got older, I could let go of my fear over them as well. God has proven Himself faithful and far more capable of watching over them as they’ve had car accidents, even once my son had a seizure (his one and only) while on a solo road trip across the state and over the mountains, and every time God has kept them safe. It was not their time to go, the number of their days had not been completed, and nothing could take them out of God’s hand. And when it is their time, or my time, nothing can stop our eminent earthly death. But, praise God, that’s not the end!

 The other reason I no longer fear death is that it’s not the end of my story. In fact, in many ways it is only the beginning. I believe absolutely that to be absent from the body is to be present with the LORD (2 Corinthians 5:8). Jesus told the thief hanging on the cross next to Him that, “today you will be with me in paradise,” (Luke 23:43). Death is not the worst thing that could happen to me. Now, I am not hurrying towards it by any means. I believe that I’m here right now for a reason and I still have things to do. I love my family and so very much want to be here for them in whatever ways I can as long as I can. But I’m not afraid of dying. Ok, let’s be entirely honest here, I am a little afraid of the actual process of dying, but not the result. Because I have accepted Jesus as my Savior, trusting Him as the LORD of my life, I have assurance of an eternity with Him where there will be, “no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away,” (Revelation 21:4). If you do not have this assurance, then death is a terrifying thing indeed!

 And I think that’s what today’s verse is getting at. Knowing that our days are numbered, considering our mortality, spurs us on to doing something. Realizing that death is an absolute, something we cannot avoid, should inspire us to learn about it, about what comes next, and how we can make choices now that affect us for eternity. Do you know for sure what will happen to you after you die? Do you want to? Because you can! God has proven Himself faithful countless times over the course of human history. If He says something, it comes to pass. Absolutely, without exception. He has told us, “This day I call the heavens and the earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live,” (Deuteronomy 30:19). And in John 3:16 we read, “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” That’s a promise. The best, most important promise ever given.

Here’s the Thing: Whether knowing your days are numbered encourages you to seek assurance in salvation through Jesus, or it frees you from the fear of death knowing that it is in God’s perfect, faithful hands, either way it leads to a heart of wisdom.

1 - To learn more about this, you can watch the documentary, "Liberia, America's Stepchild" on YouTube, but I warn you it is full of violent, graphic imagery. The opening scene is actual footage of the president and his cabinet being executed on the beach. This is the biggest trigger warning I can possible give! In fact, I won't even link to it here, I'll let you search for it yourself if you feel so inclined.