Praying God's Wisdom: A Wife of Noble Character Who can Find?

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She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.  Proverbs 31:26

 Proverbs 31 has always held a special power over me. It reflects a goal that I feel I fall far short of and could never achieve, but I so desperately want to. One year, when I only had two little ones, My husband gave me the most thoughtful gift for Mother’s Day. He and the boys (ok, him – they were way to young to help!) wrote out how they felt like I fulfilled each line of this poem. It met me in a place I so needed and encouraged me in my motherhood and wifely duties. Now, I didn’t think then, nor do I now upon reflection, that I actually fulfilled those things, but hearing from someone whose opinion I so respected that he felt that I did meant the world to me!

 Proverbs is a book of wisdom and so it only makes sense that wisdom would be one of the critical aspects of the “Wife of Noble Character.” And how is her wisdom expressed? By the words she speaks with her tongue of course. These words are filled with wisdom and she shares faithful instruction. The KJV says, “her tongue is the law of kindness,” and the LSB relates, “the instruction of lovingkindness is on her tongue.” So, it’s not just that what she has to say is right and true, but it is also spoken kindly. As Ephesians 4:15 teaches, “…speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ.” It’s not just what we say, but how we say it that matters. I’ve definitely learned that over my life.

 I used to have a truth burning in my heart that needed to be expressed, and it would just get blurted out. That truth didn’t typically land in a way that brought fruit I wanted to eat. You see, in Proverbs 18:21 we read, “The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.” I love words. Ever since I was young I’ve loved writing and talking. My mother used to say that I started speaking at 9 months and I never shut up! I relished times where I could say just the right thing to make everyone laugh. Some of my most embarrassing memories came from times when I thought I was saying something witty and it turned out very badly. I’ve always loved writing, I have journals going back to when I was 5 or 6 years old, and in recent years I’ve found my sweet spot writing my blog. The primary complaint I’ve had about my blog is not what I wrote about, but how much I wrote. I write more than people have the bandwidth to read. I get that. I tried to edit it, to cut back, but I just had this burning feeling in my heart that I had to write and so, I leave it to others to define their boundaries about how much of it they read. The editing I have learned to accept and appreciate is that from the Holy Spirit. He has been hard at work editing my writing, my words, my heart from which both of them spring. He has taught me that when I have a burning truth that needs to be shared, I should seek Him about how to share it. Not just the words, but often the timing too.

 The last part of this verse has to do with faithful instruction. Besides loving words and writing, I’ve always been a teacher at heart. I was a Teacher’s Assistant (TA) in school, I homeschooled my children for 15 years, then I was a yoga instructor for years afterwards. Like words, teaching can be a “for good or evil” type of thing. What you teach and how you teach it matters. We teach in classes with words and white boards, but we teach more significantly in leading by example. That whole, “Do as I say not as I do” thing? Yeah, that’s not real. People believe what you do 100% more than what you say. I saw this firsthand when teaching yoga. If I said, “Don’t pick up your foot,” but I picked up my foot? Yeah, everyone in the room picked up their foot too. It was kind of like a grownup version of Simon Says. So, this verse calls us to account for what we teach, both intentionally with our instruction and unintentionally with the way we live our lives.

Here’s the Thing: I’m not perfect and, this side of heaven, I’m never going to be, but I can do my best and trust God with the rest. I work toward growth and improvement, doing this whole life thing a little better each decade, each year, each day. I also take comfort in the truth that God can use everything, even my mess-ups, for His glory and kingdom. At the least, those embarrassing slip-ups, even the devastating mistakes, have been used to teach and grow me, helping me avoid them in the future by seeking God’s wisdom before I speak, or write.