Praying God's Wisdom: How Many Knives does one Girl Need?

 

As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another. Proverbs 27:17

 My son has been sharpening my knives for many years now. He meticulously slides the blades across the stone and gets the edges just right. But still, he reminds me frequently to “steel the blade” before I use it to cut. Chefs always do this on tv, and I’ll admit I have had thoughts that it was just done for drama – crisscrossing the knife and the steel back and forth, but there is real value in it! Using a honing steel does not sharpen your knife, it simply realigns the blade’s edge. You see, when you use a knife to cut, the thin edge bends microscopically, beyond what we can see with our eyes. But over time and use, these bends become more and more pronounced, making the knife dull. You might not realize it, but a dull knife is a dangerous one. It can slip or require more force to do it’s job, which can lead to injury. A sharp knife slides through food easily and is both a joy and a safety. But sharpening a knife reduces it’s lifespan. Each time you do it, you remove some of the material in the blade, shaving it off and leaving a sharp edge. The more you sharpen it, the less of the knife there is. That’s where the honing steel comes in. It keeps the knife’s edge in alignment, keeping it sharper longer and reducing the number of times it has to visit the sharpening stone. I love how CoPilot put it when I queried, sharpening fixes a dull knife but honing prevents it from getting dull in the first place.

 When it comes to people, we need each other to stay sharp. Left to ourselves, we can end up in an echo chamber, only hearing what confirms or encourages what we are already thinking. If what we are thinking doesn’t align with God’s wisdom, this can have disastrous results. But surrounding ourselves with godly people serves to correct or redirect wrong thinking, keeping us on track with the Lord – as long as we are open to their input that is. It’s important that we intentionally seek out people to be a part of our lives that will draw us closer to Jesus, not pull us away.

 COVID did a number on this for me. Before the shut down, I was involved with Bible studies, exercise classes, and coffee dates with friends. But when the invisible walls arrived, keeping us in our homes, those relationships began to disintegrate. Compounding this was the deterioration of my health through a genetic condition (EDS) and then a brain tumor. It turns out that many, most, almost all of the relationships that I had been engaged in relied on me to keep them going and when I didn’t have it in me, they fizzled away. Really, it’s been over a decade, way over, since I’ve had what I would call a “best friend.” Someone who I would call just to chat. Someone who came over to hang out just because. Someone I interacted with multiple times a week, if not every day. Is that something that adults just don’t have? Is it only for youth? I don’t think so, because I hear about other people having these relationships. I have longed for one. I have prayed for one. But I think that God has kept me out of a closeness like this because I tend to use it to replace Him in my heart. Instead of a situation causing me to pray, it might inspire me to text my friend. Instead of telling Him how wonderful something is or praising Him, I might give them a call. So, over the last decade or two, Jesus has become my BFF.

 That’s not to say I don’t have any friends! God has blessed me with many people in my life whom I would count in this capacity. I enjoy seeing the people in my homegroup every month or two and having coffee with someone I love on occasion. I maintain a dear friendship with one person over voice texts through What’s App because she lives in Southern California and travels a great deal abroad. Another friend of mine in Arkansas and I have regular “text dates” where we converse back and forth for about an hour or so, but she also has EDS and other challenges so there are limits to what we can maintain. Being a friend takes energy, and I have precious little of that in recent years. So I enjoy the friendships I have as I can.

 Bringing this back to the knife sharpening analogy, it turns out that in ancient Israel, when this proverb was written, they didn’t have honing steels. They didn’t have steel at all in fact, which is why the verse talks about iron sharpening iron. This image is literally of a sharpening, not a honing. It is abrasive contact with metal clashing against one another involving sparks and heat. This isn’t something you do every time you cook dinner! I have mourned the opportunity to have close, daily interactions with friends, but perhaps that’s not what this verse was talking about at all. Perhaps the “honing” comes in with my virtual interactions through social media and blogging, through reading about others’ Bible studies and engaging with biblically minded news and articles. The sharpening, the iron in direct, abrasive contact with iron, then can take place in a more spaced out fashion. I can have those challenging, engaging conversations with other believers that help to sharpen my spirit and in between grow through virtual Bible study and interactions on our Facebook group. My husband, my kids, my Mom and most especially Jesus hone my mind and heart and keep that edge sharp in between those more exceptional interactions.

Here's the Thing: Perhaps what I was longing for, what I thought I was missing out on, isn’t what I was supposed to have at all. Perhaps it is ok to have friendships where you chat once or twice a year, and maybe have a lot of those so that you are chatting with someone every month or so. Perhaps the image of a BFF that I’ve so hungered for isn’t what’s best for me after all. As I draw closer to Jesus, I find myself more and more satisfied in Him. I’m beginning to think that He is the blade and the honing and sharpening are the activities that keep me on track with Him.