Reflecting Christ: How Then Should We Live?

 

Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

 This is the end of a passage that lays out some foundations for Christian living. In it, Paul writes that we should not sin in our anger, we should not steal, our words should be beneficial, not gossipy or mean, and that great big mysterious command – do not grieve the Holy Spirit. I still don’t fully comprehend what that means, and no one I’ve read seems to have a solid handle on it either. Hey Paul, you want to give a few more details on something so seemingly important?!? Finally, just before today’s focus verse, it says that we are to get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. That’s where I got stuck.

 You see, I don’t struggle with a compulsion to steal, and I work really hard to make sure my words are beneficial, though I am certainly not perfect, but recently I have had a big struggle with anger. You can do a lot to me personally, but when you hurt someone I love, I experience a whole different emotion. Someone near and dear to my heart is going through a very difficult time and they have been the target of a lot of hurtful words and meanness. In bearing witness to that, it is all I can do to not jump in and give the offender a piece of my mind. Realistically, I want to go completely feral on them and unleash a lifetime of hurt and anger. There’s a fire inside of me that longs to be empowered to act. I. Am. Angry!

 You see, though, this is not he first time I have encountered this passage and the words, “In your anger do not sin,” are indelibly imprinted on my mind. So I sat on my anger, but in doing so, I think that anger has started to ferment and change. It is no longer simply an “I’m angry,” sort of feeling. Now it leans more towards the bitterness, rage and anger referred to in verse 31. I am so conflicted. I know that I am not supposed to live in this type of anger, but how does one appropriately deal with it if I’m not allowed to let it out – leading to sin? Well, Paul answered that too.

 In verse 32, today’s verse, Paul writes, “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” John wrote further on this in John 13:34-35 when he said:

"A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another."

 How does one overcome anger? With love. And not just human love. Not just the love for a good hamburger. No, it has to be God’s love, lived through us, that overcomes this type of hurt. Paul was really wise, clearly divinely inspired, when he wrote that we were to forgive each other as God forgave us in Christ. We don’t want to see our own sins, our own failings, as being as bad as the person who is hurting us, but they are! With God, sin is sin. If you are completely honest with yourself, you will see that you have not measured up – none of us have (Romans 3:23). The only way we can come to God is through Jesus, through His perfect sacrifice of His life for us on the cross. None of us are worthy of salvation. In this, He set an example for us. If He can forgive us of all that He has, we must forgive those who sin against us. The truth is, there’s an even more serious level to this. In Matthew 6:14-15, we learn that our forgiveness doesn’t just inspire us to forgive others, it is dependent upon it:

For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. [Matthew 6:14-15 NIV]

 That’s real, folks! That’s scary. That should inspire you to lace up your shoes of the gospel of peace (Ephesians 6:15)! Does it make it easy? No! I am HURT! I am UPSET! But I can see the truth behind what is shared in the Bible and I know that my hurt and anger have no benefit. They do not damage the ones they are intended towards, they only damage me and my relationship with God. Anger is such a deceptive thing. It makes you feel justified. It tells you that your feelings are valid and worthy. It tells you all these things so that you will keep it on board and it can keep rotting away your soul. It’s anger’s self-preservation mechanism. Anger is a trap. It will lure you in and keep you there, helpless, useless, as long as it can. It ruins your testimony, it destroys your ministry, it makes you ineffective in the world. Praise God that there is a freedom available to us in Christ from anger!

 Forgiveness is a huge idea that could be the subject of an entire series of posts (and maybe someday it will be), but for today let me just say that forgiveness is freedom. Really, forgiveness is freedom for the person giving it because they are saying that they are no longer holding the other person (or persons) liable for the infraction. They are releasing them from any debt perceived by either party. They are severing the hold that the pain has on their heart and leaving its remediation in God’s hands. When you forgive, you are saying, “God forgave me of so much. He was faithful and loving in that and has set the example for me. I choose to live like God. I choose to love like God. I choose to forgive.”

Here’s the Thing: It’s not easy. It’s not even simple. But today I choose to forgive. I choose to lay down the hurt that has been caused at the feet of Jesus. I acknowledge that I have been forgiven much, and so I can forgive much. Is the pain gone? No. Will I probably have to forgive this 1,000 more times as the memories come back to haunt me? Yes. But by God’s grace, and with His strength, I will. Because that’s how He says it’s supposed to be done.