Salty Zebra

  So be patient, brothers and sisters, until the Lord’s return. Think of how the farmer waits for the precious fruit of the ground and is patient for it until it receives the early and late rains. You also be patient and strengthen your hearts, for the Lord’s return is near.   James 5:7-8 In the past, my Mom has had me check an almanac to see when the last and first frost of the year will be so I know when to plant. Guess what? Those are just estimates. Turns out no one but God actually knows when the last frost will be. One year we were actually out in the garden in late April or early May transplanting tomatoes and peppers when it began to snow. Not rain, not hail, actual snow. No, it wasn’t even in the forecast. It was a brief, light snow that quickly vanished and most of our transplants survived just fine, but I can tell you we were more than a little surprised! All God expects us to do is the best we can with what we have/know. Now if He’s given us the information that tomatoe

  Listen, I will tell you a mystery; We will not all sleep, but we will all be changed... Those words echo back through the years, and their veracity is astounding. Our Young Marrieds group at church would joke about this verse often. I miss that group and those days! When my babies were babies, they did not sleep. No, I mean it, they did not sleep. My oldest was a marathon nurser. He would nurse for 90 minutes at a time and start every 2 hours, around the clock. By the time he was a few months old I was so sleep deprived my husband caught me chasing hallucinated butterflies down the hallway. When my daughter came home from Liberia at the age of 4, we would wake up at all hours of the night to find her wandering around the house playing with random things. And then my youngest. He had a soy allergy that manifested in him stopping breathing multiple times a night. I would have to sit him up and pat his back to get him breathing again. I did not hit a deep sleep phase for a year. I did n

  Radical tumor removal is not always possible because of the critical brainstem or diencephalic locations of some tumors. Tumor progression and eventual death are likely in such patients. Stereotactic radiosurgery for pilocytic astrocytomas part 1: outcomes in adult patients Kano et. al.  So my posts are usually preceded by a scripture verse, often an encouraging one. Today I needed to give you an insight into what I've been experiencing. From the time I was diagnosed with a brain tumor, about a year and a half ago, I was reassured that it was a "WHO grade 1 benign" tumor. I, mistakenly, took this to mean that it wasn't a big deal. Even when I was told in June that it had grown "slightly," I thought that meant they'd zap it with radiation and that'd be the end of it. Guess what, I was wrong. When my June MRI revealed growth, I was referred to the Tumor Center for treatment. Fearing a long, drawn-out process, I was relieved when they scheduled all my

For the Lord himself will come down from heaven with a shout of command, with the voice of the archangel, and with the trumpet of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. Then we who are alive, who are left, will be suddenly caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will always be with the Lord. Therefore encourage one another with these words.   1 Thessalonians 4:16-18 I’ve been given a plus one to the most incredible event that has even been thrown, or ever will be for that matter. You definitely don’t want to miss it. There will never be another opportunity like this one again. This is going to be the party of the century. Of the millennia! Of the… what comes after a millennia?   Don’t worry about what you will wear, we will each get new clothing when we get there! Don’t worry about not knowing anyone. Yeah I’ll be there, but even better, the One who made you, who knows you inside and out, who loves you more than you could possibly ima

As they were walking along and talking, suddenly a fiery chariot pulled by fiery horses appeared. They went between Elijah and Elisha, and Elijah went up to heaven in a windstorm.   2 Kings 2:11 Our devotional today shared three ways to live our lives from the story of Elijah and Elisha. First, we are to walk forward in our faith and not be afraid of what the future holds. That’s tricky when you’re being told the future holds a whole mess of unpleasantness. I’m not certain about what all that will look like, but what I am certain about is who will be there with me. I can step forward into my future with certainty because I know I’m stepping forward into a future with Jesus. He’s gone before me and He’ll be there with me. He’s not asking me to do any of it on my own. So, with my hand in His, I’ll walk forward in my faith. Next, we need to invest in the next generation. That’s been easier for me to do at other stages of my life. When my kids were younger I was homeschooling them, lea

By faith Enoch was taken up so that he did not see death, and he was not to be found because God took him up. For before his removal he had been commended as having pleased God.   Hebrews 11:5 “Good morning, God. Thank you for the sleep that You blessed me with last night. For the smooth sheets on my bed and the soft light in the room. Thank You for the plans You have for me today.” “LORD, my feet have hit the floor and I’m starting to feel what hurts. It took me longer to get out of bed than I feel like it should have. Is it laziness? I hope not. I don’t mean to be lazy. Everything hurts, and I know that it will do better when I get up and get moving, but it’s hard to summon the motivation to prove that. Please help me to move through the pain and get to the point of function.” “Thank You, LORD, for hot water. For running water. That I don’t have to walk hours to bring water home to my   family, but it comes right out of the pipes. I recognize it for the blessing that it is and

 “And if I go and make ready a place for you, I will come again and take you to be with me, so that where I am you may be too.”   John 14: 3 Two thousand years ago, Jesus went to make ready a place for us. I’ve seen what He can do in seven days. I’m beyond excited to be with Him in this place that He is preparing for us. So why am I scared too? A series of events has caused me to have to do extensive research on my brain tumor, and it hasn’t been encouraging. What originally was quoted to me as a 95% survivability prognosis is now looking more like 60%, with an uncertain quality of life. Being a person who typically doesn’t operate in the majority, this is a much different prognosis than I had originally anticipated. So then I read verses like this with fresh eyes. I begin to picture all the dreamy images I’ve seen on social media of homes that I’ll never even stay in, let alone live in, and I know that they don’t hold a candle to what my Jesus is preparing for us.  I bet the lib

  Above all, understand this: In the last days blatant scoffers will come, being propelled by their own evil urges and saying, “Where is his promised return? For ever since our ancestors died, all things have continued as they were from the beginning of creation.”   2 Peter 3: 3-4 I am reminded, as I am every time I encounter these verses (2 Peter 3), of how glad I am that Jesus waited for me, and as eager as I am for His return, how glad I am that He is waiting for my loved ones that do not know Him as their Savior yet. Yes, I say yet. I believe that they will come to know Jesus in His perfect will and timing. It may be a hard road, and for that my heart aches, but I know it will be worth it and God will use it. Hmm. Is this the day to get into a discussion of free will vs predestination? Nah. That’s too heavy. It’s been a week already for me! The thing is, I just know in my heart that my children will love Jesus some day as I do. They might be reading this and rolling their eyes.

Just as it was in the days of Noah, so too it will be in the days of the Son of Man. People were eating, they were drinking, they were marrying, they were being given in marriage—right up to the day Noah entered the ark. Then the flood came and destroyed them all.”  Luke 17:26–27 Life changes when you least expect it. No one has, “Get a call saying you have a tumor,” on their calendar. Very few people schedule their car crashes, and those that do aren’t who I’m addressing here. It will be the same when Jesus returns. The Bible tells us that no one knows the day or the hour that Christ will return except God the Father (Matthew 24:36). Lots of people have claimed to know, but so far, none of them have been right. But just like with a car crash, we can do things to be prepared. First, with a car, we are supposed to carry insurance. In our State it’s the law. Most of the time it seems like an unnecessary expenditure, a waste of money. Then a crash happens and all of a sudd

But understand this, that in the last days difficult times will come. For people will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy, unloving, irreconcilable, slanderers, without self-control, savage, opposed to what is good, treacherous, reckless, conceited, loving pleasure rather than loving God. They will maintain the outward appearance of religion but will have repudiated its power. So avoid people like these.  2 Timothy 3:1–5 What are the last days? These are. Don’t get excited, we’ve been living in the last days for two thousand years, ever since Jesus returned to heaven. In these last days, we are told that difficult times will come. It’s not an if, but a when. Why? Because people are awful. These verses lay it all out pretty plainly. What remains then is what are we to do with this knowledge? Our first calling is to not become one of these people. The world desperately wants us to become like th

Gaslighting, in particular medical gas lighting, has received a lot of attention lately. According to this excellent article by the Cleveland Clinic, "Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse and mental manipulation that will leave you questioning your own reality and have you wondering if you’re in the wrong in nearly every argument." For an in-depth look at medical gaslighting, you can check out this video . Because of all the awareness, gaslighting is on my and my husband's radar. When we are in medical appointments, he makes sure our questions are answered and my symptoms are noted appropriately. So I was totally taken off guard when I encountered the reverse of this, toxic positivity. Positivity sounds, well, positive, right? Did you know that it can be taken too far and become detrimental? I didn't. A couple of years ago I had my first appointment with one of my doctors, a surgeon actually. I won't name him here because the purpose of this post is not to ca

  Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you believe in him, so that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.  Romans 15: 13 Sometimes the future is scary. Next week I visit the Alvord Brain Tumor Center at UW Medical Center to discuss chemotherapy and radiation treatment options for my brain tumor. While I really am looking forward to having that appointment behind me, I'm not looking forward to doing it, or what comes after it. That said, there would be no point in doing any of it if I didn't have hope for the future. If I didn't hope that we would be able to get this tumor under control, why would I try to treat it? Ultimately, though, my hope doesn't lie in treating this tumor. Even if this tumor goes crazy and takes out my ability to see, walk, or even swallow, I still have hope. How can that be? I'll tell you!  In the midst of struggle, I have joy. Sometimes it comes through laughing at myself. Because of my double vision,