Salty Zebra

      I think that picture says it all... So I've been dealing with digestive issues since, well since I was born I think.  Some of it was definitely linked to anxiety and depression, but some of it was just how I was made.  They really came to a head in the fall of 2016. At that point ANYTHING I consumed, even plain chicken broth, had me doubled over in pain.  I kept finding things that helped a little, but they were band-aids at best and in the spring of 2017 I was diagnosed with SIBO for the first time.  There was a host of other issues present as well including a parasitic infection and a lack of digesting protein or fat.  We treated it aggressively with antibiotics, antiparasitics and a whole host of digestive support supplements as well as the most restrictive diet I've ever heard of.  It started off with me being able to eat a chicken breast (baked over a grate so there would be no fat present and with NO seasoning), ground beef cooked the same way, and boiled/pureed car

      This is a picture from Christmas last year.  I can count on one had the number of times it has snowed on Christmas in my life.  Yes, the grass is green, and the snow that came down was sloppy and wet and didn't stick much, but it snowed.  From the time I was a little kid, Christmas has been equated with snow, even though it almost never happens in the Pacific Northwest (at least on the West side of the mountains).  Every year I hope it will snow on Christmas, even if there isn't a snowball's chance in...  Well you get it.  If you asked me, I wouldn't admit it, because sharing my disappointment is so difficult for me.  I think it makes it more real.  If I don't tell you what I hoped for that didn't come about, maybe I can convince myself that I never actually hoped for it in the first place and I don't have to feel the disappointment.       This Christmas season has been a difficult one for me, and until recently, I wasn't even aware of why.  I have

      Beyond trying out a different cruise line, the other two major trials of this weekend cruise were an inside cabin and cruising alone.  I had avoided both in the past because I was nervous about how I would do with them, but I knew that if I was going to do as much travel as possible in 2023 these were the best options. I didn't want to start booking solo inside cruises for next year though without first finding out if I could handle it.       While I'm not claustrophobic, I have definitely experienced some discomfort with enclosed spaces.  I also have an irrational fear of being crushed under rubble.  This comes into play in parking garages and under bridges so I was concerned that it would be a factor in being in an inside cabin with many decks above me.  When booking my first cruise, my mother, who was traveling with me, wanted to book an inside cabin because it was cheapest, but I was uncomfortable with it and requested an ocean view instead.  Turns out the inside cabi

      After our cruise this fall, my husband encouraged me to try out solo cruising.  The reasoning was that I would like to travel more than he is available and cruising is a cost-effective and accessible form of travel.  So I booked my first solo cruise for April of 2023 on Norwegian Cruise Line (NCL).  You see, I had only ever cruised on NCL and I thought that I always would.  The logic is sound. When you sail consistently with one cruise line you earn loyalty points that equate to bonuses and potential savings. As I began to look into my dreams of travelling every month in 2023 on the $7,500 budget that my husband had given me though, I quickly realized that cruising on Norwegian wouldn't get me very far.  Between the one I had booked in April and the one I had committed to with my son in the fall I was down nearly half of my travel budget for the whole year.  I didn't need to budget for our travel in February because that was for our anniversary and it was coming out of a

      After a brief but busy visit to the Disney World Resort area, I thought it would be best to take a break day before heading out on a cruise.  Turns out I would need it more than I realized!     Tuesday evening I dropped the power wheelchair off at the Disney resort I had stayed at and took a Lyft to WorldMark Kingstown Reef about 20 minutes away in Orlando.  I've never been to this resort, but it was opposite to everything I had experience the last two nights.       Physically, I was done on arrival.  It took everything I had to make it to my room, which of course was in the back of the resort furthest from the lobby.  I wonder if that's just a default that computers like to fill rooms in from the back to the front?  There was also bricked sidewalk for half of it. I had never noticed what a popular aesthetic feature brick sidewalk is before I struggled with navigating them.       My room was on the fourth floor for which I was very grateful because it meant I didn't h

      I've spent decades trying to develop a healthy sleep cycle.  It sounds deceptively easy to just go to bed and fall asleep.  In fact, it's something my husband does quite well.  It's happened multiple times that when I spoke to him just a few seconds after he laid down, I woke him up!  On the other side of things, I've spent so very many nights staring at the ceiling longing for rest either when I've gone to bed or when I've woken in the middle of the night.  Part of this is fueled by me being an incredibly light sleeper.  When my kids were younger, I could be in deep sleep but if they woke up and went into the kitchen, several rooms away from me, I would be fully awake and aware of what was happening in the house.  I also struggle with anxiety and when I'm home alone  at night, or the only adult at home, it tends to be the worst.      These days I've found a much better rhythm for the most part, but a lot goes into that.  The first thing I needed t

       As Jesus looked up, he saw the rich putting their gifts into the temple treasury. He also saw a poor widow put in two very small copper coins. "Truly I tell you," he said, "this poor widow has put in more than all the others. All these people gave their gifts out of their wealth; but she out of her poverty put in all she had to live on." Luke 21:1-4 NIV     This passage was presented on my Pray As You Go devotional this morning and it struck me in a different way.  I don't know how many times I've studied this passage.  It's so meaningful to me that I often wear a "Widow's Mite" on a necklace to remind me that no matter how little I have to give God can use it.  Today what stood out to me was that while I cannot identify with the widow's financial poverty, I have a poverty of my own.  I have so little energy and ability to be physically present that I have, in the past, written off my ability to be of service.  The truth is, God