Salty Zebra

  If we say we have fellowship with him and yet keep on walking in the darkness, we are lying and not practicing the truth.   1 John 1:6 Relationships are funny things. You can go through some pretty big stuff together and be ok, but then it’s the little things building up between you that can tear you apart. I’ve struggled over my life with friendships. I haven’t had many, just a few really deep ones. Oftentimes I will have a friend during a really rough season or a tragic occurrence in one or both of our lives and we will be so pivotal for each other in dealing with it. It seems to strengthen our bond and our friendship. But then, for some reason, things change. Little things here and there. It builds up I guess, and before I know it, the relationship changes. With one exception, I can’t tell you when each of my close friendships ended, and with that one, I couldn’t say I understood it in the moment or even saw it coming.   I can tell you for certain that I have car...

  "You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled underfoot. "You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven. [Matthew 5:13-16 NIV]  The lights dim and someone starts singing. From around the corner, a loved one enters the room with a cake covered in blazing candles! Everyone sings and celebrates, and then the person you’re celebrating blows out the candles. In my family, the birthday child got the distinguished privilege of licking the frosting off of the bottom of the candles as they were removed from the cake. Not sure why, but it seemed like the best part! According to an ...

This is not a how to post, I'm writing to let you know that you are not alone. One of the most common complaints you hear in the chronic illness community is over bad doctor appointments. Now, I'm not talking about ones where they give you a tough diagnosis, ironically we call these good appointments because we actually got somewhere we can work from. I'm talking about the appointments where your condition is misunderstood, your symptoms are brushed off, and you leave feeling hopeless and helpless. Those are bad doctor appointments and, sadly, I've had two of them recently.  The first one, a neuro PT appointment actually, was with one negative type of medical provider. This one thought they knew everything there was to know about Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome (EDS) . While at first this seems better than those tropy doctors that have to pull out their phone and Google it, in reality it can be much more dangerous. You see, this provider had seen a couple, meaning 2, patients wi...

  So then my dear friends, just as you have always obeyed, not only in my presence but even more in my absence, continue working out your salvation with awe and reverence, for the one bringing forth in you both the desire and the effort – for the sake of his good pleasure – is God.   Philippians 2:12-13  I was a homeschool mom for fifteen years. I taught four kids, three of them until they went to Running Start (a community college/high school mashup) in eleventh grade. The fourth I taught until God finally got through to me that I was not the best teacher for him. That was a hard lesson to learn, but not what I’m trying to share today, so, moving on. When I began teaching my children, I had this Americana image of giving them their little lessons and having them sit at their desk doing them while I worked on lesson plans at mine. Spoiler alert, that’s not how it went at all.   Turns out, kids learn better if you do their lessons alongside them. By the end, we t...

  He takes away every branch that does not bear fruit in me. He prunes every branch that bears fruit so that it will bear more fruit.   John 15:2  When Covid hit, and it became clear that this was a real issue and would not be resolved in  a couple of weeks, I decided to grow a victory garden. I needed something to do to keep my mind off of the drama, something I could do at home that would engage my hands and my brain. I remember being in Lowe’s (our local hardware store) trying to pick up the last few things we needed before the impending shutdown and announcements coming over the loudspeaker about social distancing and being sure to wear your mask. It was so surreal and even a little apocalyptic feeling. I headed home, seed starting trays in hand, and went to work.   For weeks, my sitting room was turned into a greenhouse with baby plants everywhere! You can see in the picture that I didn’t even have the foresight to buy a watering can (I probably thought...

 Ever since my brain tumor and surgeries, my husband has stated time and time again that I am, "More Spunky." I've been trying to pay attention and figure out why this is. Turns out my personality hasn't changed, my filter has just become defective!  We all have an internal thought life. As we look at things around us, our brain processes what we see, and we think about it. You might notice a beautiful sunset and admire the color palette in the sky. You might wonder why someone would wear that shirt with those pants. You might wish you were at home taking a nap instead of wherever you happen to be at the moment. This is completely normal and everyone does it, it's a part of how we experience the world. The challenge I happen to be facing is that my internal life is slipping into my external one.   On several occasions recently, I've caught myself by surprise as I realize that the thought I had intended to be inside my head had come out of my mouth instead! And...

   When I was a young mom of 1, then 2, then 3, then FOUR kids, quiet time and personal space was non-existent. That didn't change my nature as an introvert and my need to be renewed and replenished through time alone. My incredible husband recognized this and, after my last baby was weened, sent me on my first solo trip. It was just a weekend at a local bed and breakfast, but oh how it replenished my soul! I had gone on a women's retreat the year before that was intended to do the same thing, but although I was surrounded by loving people whom I genuinely liked, I was still surrounded with people! I hadn't yet gotten to know myself, what worked and what didn't, what I truly needed.   A year after that I went on another trip, a soul-searching one. I have dozens of journals from my youth and young-adulthood and I brought them all with me to reflect on who I was, how God had made me, and what He was wanting me to focus on in life. This was all in anticipation of bringi...