Like the Dawn

 

“Because of our God’s tender mercy, the dawn will break upon us from on high to give light to those who sit in darkness and in the shadow of death, to guide our feet into the way of peace.”  Luke 1:78-79

I love the imagery of God’s tender mercy breaking upon us like the dawn. When Jesus came the first time, He chose a subtle entrance into our world, coming in the form of a baby, born in obscurity in a stable (Luke 2:7). The heavens couldn’t help but announce His coming, but they did it to shepherds in a field nearby (Luke 2:8-14). Jesus’ second coming will be announce with trumpet blast, there will be nothing subtle about it (1 Thessalonians 4:16-17, Matthew 24:30-31, Revelation 1:7).

I can definitely see the subtleness of Jesus’ coming into my life as well. I didn’t have one of those Saul to Paul conversion stories where there’s a huge flash of light and a voice from heaven sets you straight. A friend of my son’s, Joshua Blahyi, did and it’s a fascinating story if you’re interested. But for me, Jesus made friends with me a little at a time. He taught me about how much He loved me and helped me learn to trust Him with the things, people really, that mattered most in my life.

It started with my first baby, my oldest son. When he was born I had an irrational belief that I was solely responsible for making sure he took his next breath. Perhaps this was instigated by the fact that he was kept from me in the NICU for a day after he was born. I was recuperating from a c-section so I was not allowed to go see him there. I kept him with me 24/7 from the point we came home from the hospital until he was 3 months old. I brought him with me into the bathroom. He slept with me. He was never out of my sight. Compounding this, he was what they refer to as a “marathon nurser” where he would nurse for 90 minutes straight and wanted to start every 2 hours around the clock, so I hardly got any sleep at all. I developed sleep deprivation to the point of hallucinating. But still, I would not be out of arm’s length of my baby.

Around Christmas time, about 3 months after he was born, I was watching a made for TV movie about Mary and God touched my heart, showing me how much Mary loved Jesus but how she was able to hand Him over to God. I was influenced by the story of Hannah in 1 Samuel chapter 1 as well. If these women could trust God with their babies, maybe I could too. Slowly, I started letting go and trusting God to watch over my son. As I learned how to trust God with my baby, we grew in relationship as well. After a time, I also had to trust God with my husband as he traveled overseas. Then one by one, I handed Him each important thing in my life until God Himself became the most important thing in my life.

All this happened in the same way the dawn breaks over the land: gently, slowly, almost imperceptibly. If you aren’t paying attention, you’ll miss it and one moment you’ll just notice that it’s light out.

Here’s the Thing: Today I enjoy a deep, meaningful relationship with my Savior. I am so very grateful for it. It’s not the type of thing you can jump into though, it has to develop over time, like the aging of a fine wine. It’s not quick, but it’s so so worth it!