The Power in our Words

 

And let us take thought of how to spur one another on to love and good works, not abandoning our own meetings, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging each other, and even more so because you see the day drawing near.  Hebrews 10: 24-25

Studies vary significantly, but they show that people speak from 6-7,000 (lower end) to 15-16,000 (higher end) words per day (How Many Words Does the Average Person Say a Day? (wikihow.com)) That sounds like a lot, but once you take into account that the average person speaks at a rate of 150 words per minute, that’s just 20-60 minutes of speaking per day. As you can imagine, people in speaking professions, like teachers, would use a lot more words than someone like me who stays at home most of the time. When you take into account the power that our words can have, that is a very great responsibility.

How often have you thought something encouraging about someone, but the thought never left your mouth? Encouragement never benefits another when it stays trapped in our minds. As an introvert, I can appreciate the hesitation to speak up. It’s hard to put yourself out there. You never know how your intentions will be received. The reality is, though, that most of the time the person you are speaking to will be grateful. The more you do it, the easier it will become. Try not to overthink it, try not to over word it. Keep it simple. But put it out there!

Make sure, though, that what you are sharing is genuine. My dear, sweet husband had a habit of saying, “You’ll do great,” when the situation looked bleak and he had no advice to offer. That type of encouragement did not do much to bolster my confidence. Broad encouragement like, “You’re doing a great job,” especially when you are clearly not, doesn’t help. I challenge you to be specific. “I love how you…” “I appreciate that you…” Recognize that much of what we do in life we feel like we have to, but that doesn't make it easy. It would not be patronizing for my husband to say to me, “I’m proud of you for getting out of bed today and doing life even though it hurts, and you feel like you don’t have the energy.” On that note…

Sometimes we also need to learn how to receive encouragement. Perhaps we needed it, but didn’t get it, so we built up walls. Perhaps it was not a part of our young life, so we don’t have experience with how to internalize it and respond. I think, again, of my husband. He doesn’t know how to handle people telling him, “Happy Birthday!” So much so that he hikes 15 miles out into the woods so that there will be no one to tell it to him. Start with just saying, “Thank you.” Then, allow the gift of the words to sink in. It may take time. They may sit with you for an hour, or a day. You don’t have to explain. You don’t have to share any backstory. Just thank the person for the encouragement and accept it. Even if they clearly didn’t understand the situation, you can thank them for their heart, their perception.

Here's the Thing: Words have power. We will be held accountable for how we use that power. If we abuse it, or if we fail to use the power we were given, it will be so sad. What a beautiful thing to be known as an encourager. Try it on for size, it might just fit!