I Can't Do It All By Myself

And God will exalt you in due time, if you humble yourselves under his mighty hand by casting all your cares on him because he cares for you.  1 Peter 5: 6 - 7

One of the hardest things to admit in this life is that you need help. We want to think we can do it all ourselves. I’d be horribly embarrassed but would probably fall over laughing if a blooper reel was played of all the poorly thought-out ways of doing things myself was played. The chairs I perched on tip toe to reach something up high. The cardboard I inched under heavy objects so I could slide them across the floor. The one more job I did because it was right in front of me when my energy was gone two jobs ago.

The most extreme example of this in my life was when my first child was born. I literally did not let go of that baby for three months. I was convinced that if I was not watching him at every moment he might not breathe. To be honest, I don’t know what I would have done had he stopped breathing, but thankfully that didn’t happen. He was with me in the bathroom. He was with me in bed. The child was a marathon nurser who would nurse for 90 minutes in a session and want to start every two hours. Yes, that meant I would get a 30-minute break every two hours. At one point I was so sleep deprived I was chasing imaginary butterflies down the hall. I needed help! And it’s not like I was alone in this. I had an amazing husband, and my mom was very available. But I was convinced that I was the only one who could do it right. The height of hubris. It’s amazing my son survived!

A few months into this I watched a Christmas special on TV. It focused on the life of Mary, and I sat in awe, broken hearted for her to have to watch her son go through all of that. To see him tortured and killed in front of her. But then the incredible joy of the resurrection and to see God’s plan come full circle. To see that Mary could trust God even with that. Something in me softened in a way that was desperately needed.

I chose to trust God with my baby. I recognized that He loved my son even more than I did. That ultimately, He was the only One who could do anything to save my son in an emergency. I let go of my illusion of control and gave both my son and my life to Jesus.

Seventeen years later, in a prayerful encounter with Jesus it was brought to my attention that I was about to put the same son on an airplane to India for two months alone and I wasn’t afraid at all. God had proven to me that He could care for him in any situation and that He was holding us both in His hands. God’s plan had come full circle for us too!

Here’s the thing: Asking for help is hard. Admitting we can’t do it on our own is humbling. But when we humble ourselves and come to God, He will care for us. And eventually, He will lift us up!

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