Confession Time

 


A question was posed to me yesterday, but I didn’t have the chance to write about it. “In what areas of your life do you feel most tempted to prioritize worldly gains over God’s truths?” I spent a little time thinking about it and I was a little surprised by my results.

The typical answer to a question like this I would think would have to do with money. Maybe it’s just because God has provided comfortably for us in this area, but this is not a big temptation for me. He taught me very early in my walk to trust Him with our finances. We were living paycheck to paycheck, putting a little on the credit card but paying it off within a few months. He challenged us to tithe. I didn’t see how we could set aside 10% of our income when we were spending all of it already, but we started small and within a year we were up to the 10% mark we had looked towards. From that point on, we not only had enough to make ends meet, we had enough to save for the future as well! God has showed up for us by providing abundantly through my husband’s career as well as through investments and other income. So, no, I’m not tempted to prioritize financial gain over God’s truth.

Where does my temptation lie? You’re going to laugh. We grow up learning about peer pressure. I’ve always struggled with kid pressure. I want my kids to like me. I want my kids to want to spend time with me. I’m more likely to say something I know I shouldn’t to “look cool” in front of my kids. I’m more likely to do something I know I shouldn’t in order to hang out with them or do something of interest with them.

It’s dumb, I know. They’d even tell me it’s dumb. Six years ago, when I started seeing my counselor, my biggest fear was that my kids would not want to spend time with me anymore. That they’d grow up and move away and that would be it. I’ve moved past that now, I no longer live as a slave to that fear. I’m also happy to report that as my kids have grown up they’ve been pretty good at staying connected with us. But I’m still embarrassed to admit that I’m guilty of doing these things on occasion.

The worst part is, what does this teach my kids? Ugh. I feel awful about that. The person who is supposed to set one of the best examples in their life is doing things they know are wrong to “look cool” in front of them. And I expect them to stand up to peer pressure?!? Yikes!

Here's the Thing: I think the first step in conquering temptation is recognizing it. It’s probably also helpful to admit it, so I’m doing that publicly and you’re all welcome to hold me accountable. If my kids are reading this, that goes double for you!

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