Overdo and Finding Healthy Travel Boundaries

     I returned last week from a two-week trip celebrating our 25th wedding anniversary.  It was great.  I got to do a lot of things, enjoy beautiful weather, and eat fancy food.  I also overdid it, like every single day.  I keep wanting to think that I've made peace with my physical state and abilities but based on what I sign up for and do, I don't think that's true.  There was a lot of "shoulds" being thrown around in my head.  I "should" be able to enjoy a full day in a Disney World Park if I'm in a wheelchair.  I "should" be able to take down time in the park and not need to go back to the room to rest.  The reality was, spending even half a day in a Disney World Park was too much, even in a wheelchair.  I went into it with a game plan.  I wanted to do as much as we could each day, trying to ride all the rides that my physical condition would allow and see all the different lands.  My husband is a morning person that doesn't require much sleep, so he wanted to be up before the crack of dawn each day and at the gate for the park at least 30 minutes before it opened.  This meant being ready to board the transportation as early as 6:30am sometimes.  I know that the best lines for rides are early in the morning, and this would help me reach my goals, but the toll it took on me physically made it difficult to keep going all day.  As the week progressed my pain levels increased and my digestion and sleep posed more and more problems, but I didn't slow down.  On the last day of our trip I woke up with a terrible back spasm which made it so that if I turned my head to the left I had so much pain I nearly vomited, which is something I NEVER do.  Despite that, I finished packing up our room, spent 4 hours at the Kennedy Space Center, 3 hours on busses, and 11 hours in plane travel.  I didn't feel like I had a choice in the matter.  We had already signed up and paid for the tour and we had to get home somehow.  

    So what did I learn? That's tough.  I learned something, but I don't like it and so I'm not sure I'm ready to act on it.  The reality is I knew that I would need to get home and when. I know that in my day to day life I can only do one thing each day, and if that thing requires a long drive and/or lasts more than a couple of hours I need to take the next day off.  I also take at least one day each week where I don't leave the house at all and do my best to rest.  I knew before I left that spending 7am till 11pm going nonstop multiple days in a row was going to have some serious consequences. None of this was news to me, but I didn't want to admit it.  My husband loves to open and close the park, ideally showing up at least 30 minutes early and hopping in a ride line just as the park closes so he can do just one more.  He has the endurance of an African Elephant and can operate on 5-6 hours of sleep a night for days in a row.  I hate to feel like I'm holding him back or letting him down, and that's exactly how I would feel if I slept in, went back to the room and rested in the afternoon, and called it a night early, which is what I SHOULD have done. Multiple challenges kept me from planning our trip this way.  First, we had a limited amount of time.  I wanted to do BOTH Disney World and a cruise and we only had two weeks.  Had I been thinking things through better, I would have picked one destination or the other. Next, I'm kind of a frugal person.  I didn't want to spend the money for park tickets and then not get the most out of them by being in the park all day. I was also hesitant to spend extra money to buy tickets for more days.  The truth is, you're going to spend something, and if it's not money it's going to be my health.  Another issue is FOMO. I hate going late, taking a break, and leaving early because I feel like I'm missing out on opportunities.  I spend so much time stewing over what I could have been doing that I struggle to rest.  Finally, I didn't want to disappoint my husband.  He's a very active and strong person and I hate the idea of slowing him down or making him miss out on what he could have done.  Unfortunately, at this stage in my life, there is no possible way I could keep up with what he's able to do.  I can't go on all the rides because of their physical effects. I can't walk as much or get around as well as he can. By trying to do the impossible I overloaded my system and between the pain and visual/mental overwhelm I scared him several times on the trip by literally completely shutting down.  It was like someone had pushed "restart" on my brain, I just blanked out mid sentence and couldn't think, let alone speak or interact.  I'm pretty sure pushing myself to this point isn't good for me!

    If I had planned a trip that would have fit within my healthy limits and boundaries, what would it have looked like?

• I would alternate park and rest days something like this:
• Travel day
• Rest day
• Park day
• Rest day
• Park day
• Rest day
• (Repeat the previous two)
• Travel day
• I would plan for at least two days in each park so I didn't feel pressured as well as a couple of resort days where we'd visit Disney Springs, putt-putt golf, and Disney resorts.  This would mean you'd need at least 14-16 days to do 4 parks, as well as 8 day park tickets.
• I would purchase my plane tickets rather than flying standby so that I could assure the shortest, nonstop flights at the best times.
• I would stay in a room with a full kitchen so that I limited the amount of resort food I ate.
• I would bring someone else with us, ideally my kids, so that someone could go on the rides I can't with my husband, spend the times at the parks with him that I shouldn't, and help me to and from the resort during my rest times in the afternoons.
• I wouldn't have planned any activities that start before 10am so I had time to sleep and get going without hurry in the morning, including a good breakfast.
• I would take 30+ minutes each morning to do my Bible study and give myself the best start possible.  
• Each afternoon I would have taken at least 3 hours off to rest, either back in the hotel room or at a pool or beach where I could sit with my feet up.
• I would be back in the hotel room no later than 9pm each night to give me 1-2 hours of downtime before sleep.
• I would avoid rich and/or processed foods as well as fresh veggies and alcohol as those are tough on my digestive system. 

Here's the thing:  Will I plan better for future trips to fit my healthy boundaries?  I hope so.  I don't want to keep setting myself up for pain, struggle, and overwhelm.  I have the information I need to make good choices, I just need to accept it and put it into practice.