Day 2: Pain

A week ago, I started feeling a new type of pain in my low back, right around my SI joint. It started like a muscle cramp or spasm. It started to spread up my back, I thought, but in hindsight I wonder if it was actually trickling down from an injury in my thoracic spine. In any case, it's not getting better. I see my physiatrist on Wednesday, my primary care physician on Thursday, and my physical therapist on Friday. Hopefully between them, we can find some course of action. 
In the mornings, while I'm getting ready, I listen to the scripture meditation from https://pray-as-you-go.org/. Last week, ironically, many of the scriptures were from the book of Job. If you're not familiar with the story, Job lost everything, including his health, but he is famous for saying, "The Lord gives, and the Lord takes away, blessed be the name of the Lord." I was reminded of a promise I had made to God some time ago that everything I had was his. My marriage, my home, my kids, my health. In chapter 2 of The book of Job, the one person that had been left to him, his wife, encouraged him to curse God and die. He replied to her, “You are talking like a foolish woman. Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?” I promised God that all I had was his, and then when he allowed things to happen in my life that I didn't like, I began to complain and feel as though it wasn't fair. I forgot my promise. But I remember it now. I say it again, all I have is yours, God. The Lord gives, and the Lord takes away, blessed be the name of the Lord!

Here's the thing:  This is not the first time that I have experienced intense pain that has stuck around, but I'm not sure I'll ever get used to it. In any case,I trust that it is for a reason and that God will use it. I will continue to trust, even if I never see or understand this side of Heaven.

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