Day 9: Being an introvert

 


    I am an introvert blessed with a family that loves to be with me.  I love being with them too, but sometimes I feel so... smothered?  I wouldn't change it. I so enjoy that they seek me out and want to spend time with me.  I love them so much, but sometimes it is SO HARD to say, "Yes, let's hang out!"  
    If you're not familiar with the concept, WebMD defines it this way, "An introvert is a person who needs to recharge their social battery rather than being energized by socialization. The characteristics of introversion tend to include spending time in solitude, avoiding or rarely participating in large group activities, or preferring interactions involving one or two close friends."
    So that means I need time alone to charge my social battery, and that's not something I get enough of.  You'd think someone who is stuck at home much of the time due to chronic illness would get plenty of this, but my husband works from home most of the time, my youngest son still lives here (although he does go to school and work outside the home), my daughter spends at least a week at home every month, and my other two sons are very good at spending time with me either in person or on the phone.  I have lots of family in the area as well.
    And then there's friends.  I get very confused in this area.  I desperately want friends, and then I feel overwhelmed by the necessities of maintaining friendship.  You need to get together in person periodically and hypothetically you should touch bases in between as well.  I'm just not super good at either of these.  It's like I want to do it, but I feel so overwhelmed by it all as well.  

Here's the thing:    I wonder if I would do better at all of this if I actually had time to recharge.  Just in 
trying to write this post I was interrupted twice with emotional asks. Every once in a while I go away by myself for a few days (like every 2 years or so) but I don't think that's enough for maintenance. I need to figure out a way to carve out the battery charging time that I need while still feeling like I am there for those I love.


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

At least it's not bad news

Image
  Radical tumor removal is not always possible because of the critical brainstem or diencephalic locations of some tumors. Tumor progression and eventual death are likely in such patients. Stereotactic radiosurgery for pilocytic astrocytomas part 1: outcomes in adult patients Kano et. al.  So my posts are usually preceded by a scripture verse, often an encouraging one. Today I needed to give you an insight into what I've been experiencing. From the time I was diagnosed with a brain tumor, about a year and a half ago, I was reassured that it was a "WHO grade 1 benign" tumor. I, mistakenly, took this to mean that it wasn't a big deal. Even when I was told in June that it had grown "slightly," I thought that meant they'd zap it with radiation and that'd be the end of it. Guess what, I was wrong. When my June MRI revealed growth, I was referred to the Tumor Center for treatment. Fearing a long, drawn-out process, I was relieved when they scheduled all my...
Read more

The Next Crazy Thing

Image
Buckle in! This is a processing post so it is likely to be long and wordy and emotional and probably flawed in many ways. I thank you for your patience and anyone who makes it to the end gets bonus points in my book 😏.  Let's start with the info. I've been having progressively more intense, more frequent, and longer lasting migraines. Since my eye surgery in May, I've also been experiencing a great deal of nausea, almost daily. Sometimes meds help (with either), sometimes they don't. In addition, since the eye surgery, my double vision has intensified. My depth perception is shot, I'm regularly missing things I grab for, mistaking curbs for cracks in the sidewalk, bumping into walls or counters. Those are the three things that neurosurgery told us to watch for with regards to the shunt functioning properly: headaches, nausea, and vision changes. Now the vision changes were probably because of the surgery and the nausea was probably  because of the migraines, but th...
Read more

When "Wait and See" Wouldn't Sound so Bad

Image
    Ten days after I received the call letting me know that they found something on the MRI I was sitting in the office of a Neurosurgeon.  I have no doubt that God orchestrated the circumstances that had brought me there, including a friend who is also dealing with a brain tumor recommending this clinic. But how could any of this be real? Only a couple of people knew what was going on, but there wasn't much to know before this appointment. All we had were a few key phrases on the MRI Study Result and our dear friend, Dr. Google.  I went into the appointment with the impression that the doctor would either recommend watching and waiting, doing another MRI in six months and seeing if anything changed, or taking it out right away.  In previous encounters where the option was to wait or do something I have vastly preferred doing something, but this time it was different. I had read about the potential complications of surgery and I was scared.  Not to men...
Read more