Day 21: Finding my limits

 


    There's a little piece inside me that always wonders if I'm making a bigger deal out of all this than it really is.  Maybe I'm exaggerating - Lord knows I've been guilty of that a lot in my life! Maybe I just like the attention.  Maybe I'm living in fear, not doing things because I think it might hurt me when it really wouldn't.  Periodically this questioning hits a critical point and I have to test things out again.  It's like having a sprained ankle, or a bad bruise.  Maybe it's just me, I but I keep circling around to, "Maybe it's fine now, surely I should try again." Inevitably it's not fine yet and when I step on it or press on it, it still hurts. 

    I got to wondering though, maybe I could do this in a healthy way.  Actually find my limits so that I can reasonably live within them and not keep up the cycle of shame and injury.  I spoke about it with my counselor and she agreed that this might be an interesting use of my Fitbit.  In the past, of course, I've used it to push myself, encourage myself to do more, reach goals.  This time I want to use it to get a more scientific view of my abilities.  If I walk 2,000 steps in a day will I have bad consequences?  5,000?  10,000?  What is the sweet spot that I can hit and maintain from day to day, getting in as much healthy exercise as possible without overtaxing my system?  What is an occasional "extra" number I can do one day only, and then recoup the next?

    So my Fitbit is charging in the bathroom and I'm going to put it on in the morning and see.  How many steps am I actually getting in on an average day?  Can I do more?  Should I do more?  We'll see!

Here's the thing:  You won't know unless you try.  Will I hurt myself doing this by pushing too far?  Yeah, probably, but then I'll know and I can do better.  Have you ever done something like this?  How did it work out for you?

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