Are unanswered prayers answers to others?

     I know we don't know each other well yet, but I'm going to dive deep today into an issue I've struggled with for years, maybe decades: unanswered prayer.  For a long time I was afraid to even discuss it.  I didn't want to sound like I didn't have faith, and I didn't want to diminish anyone else's faith.  But one of the things I love about God and the Christian faith is that we are allowed, even encouraged, to ask the hard questions.  I know that if it's something I've struggled with, odds are there's someone else out there that has as well.  

    Over the years I've come to a sense of peace with a new understanding or epiphany about faith, suffering, etc. but whether it's because I forget or because my challenges intensify, I come back over and over to wondering about unanswered prayer.  Over the last 6-8 years these prayers have been about my health, but before that it was a desire for a baby, or my marriage, or things with my kids.  The most painful times are those when people subtly or overtly imply that my lack of healing has to do with a lack of faith.  Like it's some failing on my part that has brought me to the situation I'm in.  I'm prone to a lot of self blame so it's easy for me to fall into this trap, but the reality is, it isn't true.  I believe without a doubt that God is able to heal me completely and that He loves me and wants to. I believe that God hurts with me and that He does not afflict me out of anger or spite. So that brings me to the place I find myself in this week, a belief that if He has not healed me yet, He has a very good reason.

    Last week I began a new Bible Study from Love God Greatly - Online Bible Studies for Women called Beautifully Surrendered.  Thursday's devotional took me to the book of Ruth, with which I am very familiar.  Most of the time that I consider this book though, I am thinking of Ruth herself.  This week God brought Naomi to my attention.  If you're not familiar with their story, I highly encourage you to read it for yourself, but here's a quick summary.  Naomi and her husband left Judah because of a famine and relocated to the nearby region of Moab.  While they lived there, both of their sons married, and then tragically, Naomi's husband and both of her sons died.  This was particularly tragic for Naomi because at this point in history women had very few options to provide for themselves and if they had no husband or family they were in deep trouble.  Naomi heard that the famine in Judah had ended and so she decided to move back home, probably seeing this as her only opportunity to survive.  She encouraged her two daughters-in-law to stay behind in Moab with their families and to seek happiness with new husbands, and one of them agreed to, but the other, Ruth, vowed that she would not leave Naomi and that she would follow her. Naomi capitulated and brought Ruth with her back to Judah.  From this point on Ruth helped care for Naomi as she could, and through opportunities God brought to her she married Boaz and went on to become the great-grandmother of King David and an ancestor of Jesus Himself.  

    Naomi considered herself afflicted by God and when she returned to Judah she asked people to no longer call her Naomi, meaning "pleasant," but instead to call her Mara, meaning "bitter." In her view, everything that could have gone wrong did.  She lost everything and had endured unimaginable pain and suffering.  But in reality, everything that had happened to Naomi was necessary to bring about God's perfect and beautiful plan both for the world and for her.  At the end of this story we read:

"Then the women said to Naomi, “Blessed be the LORD, who has not left you this day without a kinsman-redeemer. May his name become famous in Israel. He will renew your life and sustain you in your old age. For your daughter-in-law, who loves you and is better to you than seven sons, has given him birth.”

And Naomi took the child, placed him on her lap, and became a nurse to him. The neighbor women said, “A son has been born to Naomi,” and they named him Obed."

    God provided not only for the world, but also for Naomi.  She ended her story filled with joy and peace.  But that would never have come without the hardship.  As I was considering my story in light of this truth I was reminded of so many prayers that I prayed many years ago; prayers for salvation and good lives for my children, prayers for joy and peace for my husband, prayers for our marriage, prayers for my own faith and spiritual growth.  I even prayed specifically that if hardship was necessary in order to bring these things about that I was willing and even eager to endure it!  Now here I am in the midst of some pretty significant hardship and for a long time I had forgotten those earlier desires and commitments.  The reality is, though, that many of these earlier prayers have been answered through this time of challenge in my life.  My marriage has never been stronger, my husband has developed so much compassion and love for me and shown such amazing care. I don't think any of that would have happened without my health failing in the way it did.  I got to spend the most precious time with my middle son this week as he took me to one doctor appointment after another and then sat in endless traffic. My adult children have gone out of their way to care and provide for me, and shown me such love and grace.  And I have the opportunity to stand, ok sit, as a witness to them of God's love and care for me.  He has never left me alone, never left me in need, never not provided for me.  Yes, life is pretty tough, but it's not impossible, and that's completely because of my relationship with Jesus.  

Here's the thing:  Maybe today's prayers seem to be unanswered because today is a part of the answer to yesterday's prayers.  Perhaps God is at work doing something better